How To Politely Say “No” At Work

Saying “no” at work isn’t always easy, especially if you’re a people pleaser. But sometimes, we must decline, whether it’s thanks to a full workload, a lack of resources, or because a task is simply unfeasible.

But just as learning to say “no” can be a challenge, learning the right way to say “no” is just as laborious. Coming off too strongly will hurt your interpersonal relationships while being unclear will make others uncertain you actually declined something. Learn to take charge and clearly but politely say “no” by adhering to these reminders.

““No, that idea sucks,” is quite different from, “No, I’d like to take a different approach.”” –Sara McCord, The Muse

Listen first

Even if you know right away you aren’t going to be able to help someone, make sure not to rudely interrupt with a dismissive “no.” Your respect for your boundaries is good, but you can decline in the right way after listening to what someone needs.

The Muse’s Sara McCord says that even when you know an idea is unfeasible or unpopular to let whoever is asking for help finish speaking before going further. The speaker may think you just don’t get it or think you’re being rude if you cut them off early. By listening to their full explanation, you can pick up on their needs. Even if you can’t meet those needs, you might be able to point them in a helpful direction while still respecting your boundaries.

Stay polite

If someone asks you for something and you respond with a quick “nah” it won’t be well received. Especially if your boss is the one asking you. There’s a balance to be struck with being clear but not being a jerk about it.

Asana’s Alicia Raeburn suggests starting by leading with something positive. Don’t go straight to the “no”—open up with a “Thank you” or “You’re so good at thinking of these opportunities” to let the asker know you appreciate them coming to you. You may have been the first person they asked because they trust you or you’re particularly skilled with something. Even if you can’t help this time, being polite about your decline will keep the interpersonal respect alive.

Offering to help in the future is another way to politely respond without shutting someone down. Maybe the timing is just bad right now or maybe you have too much on your plate. If they feel they can ask you again in the future, they’ll take that “no” even more positively.

“Unfortunately, I have too much to do today. I can help you another time.” –Indeed

Be honest

If you really don’t want to do something, a common first instinct is to make up an excuse of sorts. It might feel like without a great reason, your “no” will be poorly received. But honesty is the best policy.

Forbes’ Ashira Prossack reminds us that being honest doesn’t mean explaining every single detail, however. If you have a task or appointment that would conflict with helping someone, you can just say you have a conflict and give a brief explanation. While you might feel bad declining to help someone, you also don’t owe them every single detail. In fact, the more details you provide, the more it may seem like you’re making up an excuse.

Be clear and firm

While the above tips are good for framing your rejection, make sure at some point you actually include the word “no.” Your response might otherwise seem so polite and professional that it seems like you’re agreeing despite your other commitments.

Indeed says to be consistent and firm with your “nos.” If you open with “no but eventually change your mind, people will think they can always get you to do what they want by constantly asking. Staying firm on your “no,” especially by doing it politely, will help the “no” stick.

Clockify’s Dunja Jovanovic says that you can reinforce your “no” assertively by combining it with the right body language. Shaking your head, crossing your arms, and sitting back are all signs of dismissal. If your words are polite but your tone and stance is firm, the asker will get the message without you coming across rudely.

Practice

For some of us, the idea of saying “no” in general is difficult enough. When we’re put on the spot and don’t want to disappoint someone, it’s easy to default to saying “yes,” even when it’s the wrong call. By keeping the above points in mind and practicing, however, we can stop ourselves from auto-agreeing.

“Sometimes when we are blindsided, things come out the wrong way. Therefore, practicing how to say “no” will prepare you for those times that your bandwidth is stretched to its max.” –Fellow

Wrap up

Saying “no” when needed will prevent burnout while setting healthy boundaries. The key to declining someone at work is to do it in the right way. Rethink that saying “no” means in the first place. It isn’t an attack on the person asking. You’ll often have good reasons to say “no,” and someone else may be able to help. Politely getting through the “no” is much easier if you hear the other person out and kindly but firmly explain why you can’t help.

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Managing Expectations At Work

We all know work isn’t always a great time. Whether it’s a toxic environment or simply being in the wrong role, sometimes a workplace is a bad fit. But it isn’t always outside factors to blame. Sometimes, the biggest culprit is our own expectations.

Not every job is a dream job, but you can make moves toward creating a better environment. Cultivating the right mindset and taking necessary steps are the key to setting the right expectations at work and can create a better environment for your mental health. If you’re looking to better manage your mindset at work, take the following advice to heart.

“Managing expectations at work involve understanding company culture and how best to create healthy boundaries that guide your association with your colleagues, leadership, and management.” –Andrew Langat, Highrise

Look for mutual goals

You may want a super high-paying job working toward exactly whatever your dream goal is, but that’s often unrealistic. We all have to make compromises in our work life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find some meaning in your job. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, find a way to focus on mutual goals with your organization.

Checkr states that the most engaged workers are the most productive and happy. While a good organization will find ways to reinforce the company’s culture and goals, you may need to find ways to connect with that message on your own. Find something about your work you can take pride in and try to focus on that.

Learn to communicate

One of the problems with expectations is that your expectations may vary differently from those of your co-workers or your managers, becoming a source of frustration and burnout. In order to avoid this, we must become better communicators to build an effective relationship based on respect and understanding.

“By introducing your expectations in the beginning stages of a professional relationship, you can help establish consistent guidelines.” –Indeed

Valerie Cantella says to not be afraid to overcommunicate. The more willing you are to open a dialogue, the easier it will be to find out what is and isn’t working. Valerie says to keep things SMART—specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Remember to keep your desires realistic and be open to similar feedback from others.

“Here’s a tip: To REDUCE conflict when communicating with others, you need to communicate in their style, not yours. The more you understand how YOU navigate change and conflict, the easier it is to understand and adapt your behavior.” –Kathy Marcino

Be flexible

Some of us like to set clear goals and expectations for ourselves while others prefer to keep things fluid. Neither style is better than the other, but in both cases, flexibility is key. It’s good to be goal-driven, but being too rigid in your expectations can lead to unhappiness.

Checkr reminds us that there are different generations raised on different work priorities and that even where we work is a flexible matter. With so many variables, everyone has different needs and expectations. It’s important to remind yourself of this and to be flexible.

But set boundaries

But being flexible doesn’t mean being a pushover or only catering to others’ needs. Setting healthy boundaries at work is a good way to reduce stress and keep others’ expectations from overpowering your own.

If someone else’s expectations seem too high, you can always say no, reminds Emily May of Niagara Institute. Agreeing to too much can lead to burnout and resentment. Setting reasonable boundaries is never a bad thing, even if the prospect seems difficult. If saying no feels daunting, you can always ask clarifying questions or say that you’ll reevaluate once you finish other tasks on your plate.

Learn not to take things personally

A final reminder is not to take any setbacks or conflicts personally. You may feel that you’ve earned the right to lead a big project or land a big promotion but got passed over. It’s easy to get frustrated and let the experience cloud your expectations, but these things aren’t always personal. It’s good to be ambitious, but assuming everything will go your way or that you’ll soar up the corporate ladder is a good way to find yourself disappointed. Stay hungry, but recognize when your expectations are too high or unrealistic.

Wrap up

We can get wrapped up in our day-to-day work lives too much sometimes, but it is valuable to take some time to reflect on your expectations. Is your mindset toward your job healthy and realistic? Have you communicated with others in a respectful way so that your expectations are clear? Ask yourself these questions and follow the above advice and see if it can help you realign.

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What To Do When You Feel Underappreciated At Work

If a feeling of being underappreciated at work is causing you stress or burnout, you’re not alone.

A Bonusly survey found that almost 50% of respondents left a position due to feeling undervalued. Almost two-thirds of respondents said they feel underappreciated by their employer. A Gallup poll had similar results, finding that 65% of American workers feel undervalued.

When you work for someone else for a living, it’s frustrating to feel like your contributions don’t matter. But it doesn’t have to end there. If you’re feeling underappreciated at work, you can take these steps to make positive changes.

Consider your expectations

First, you must take a look at your own mindset. While we all want our hard work to be noted, are your expectations realistic, or are you hoping for a little too much fanfare?

Harvard Business Review’s Rebecca Knight says to remember that your coworkers and managers are just as busy as you are. And even the best managers might get overwhelmed with their own duties at times and forget to go the extra mile. Keep context in mind. The appreciation you do receive, even if it’s not what you personally would like, might be well within the norm for the organization.

Indeed also adds to reframe your mindset and look for other signs that you’re being valued. If a manager assigns you to lead a project, that’s a sign of trust, even if that isn’t explicitly stated.

Talk to your boss

Once you’ve evaluated your mindset, it’s time to take action. Perhaps the most direct route is to talk to the person you’d like to feel more appreciation from—your boss. A direct conversation is the best way to air your grievances, but you need to approach the conversation carefully.

Don’t go into the meeting swinging or you’ll risk putting your boss on the defensive, according to Harvey Deutschendorf. Rather than saying you feel underappreciated, say that sometimes you feel your work goes unnoticed. Highlight the things you’ve accomplished and the work of your team and ask for feedback. By focusing on results and uplifting your team members, you’ll appear more genuine and you may receive valuable feedback.

“Let them know that you’d like more feedback moving forward. Also, come prepared with a list of your most recent achievements. That way, you remind your manager about your great work while helping build self-confidence.” –Caroline Castrillon, Forbes

Look to your coworkers

Does it seem like you’re the only one being underappreciated or are your coworkers in a similar boat? Observe how your other coworkers are treated, and you may learn some valuable insights.

If your company culture lacks appreciation or gratitude, become a source of it. Forbes’ Caroline Castrillon says that even simple gestures like a thank you note or recognizing someone’s accomplishments at a staff meeting can start building a culture of appreciation. Once showing appreciation becomes a norm, you’ll quickly find it being reciprocated in your direction.

“One surefire way to get your own work noticed is, “paradoxically,” to “praise and appreciate others.”” –Annie McKee, author

Validate yourself

While it’s nice to feel appreciated by your peers, don’t forget the person whose opinion matters most—your own! Finding ways to celebrate your own accomplishments and validate what you’ve done will make things better, and the confidence it brings will benefit you even further.

Writing down and quantifying your accomplishments has the dual value of giving you talking points with your bosses when looking for validation as well as building confidence, writes Jessica Dowches-Wheeler. You aren’t just patting yourself on the back, you’re providing tangible talking points to increase your visibility and get the feedback you desire.

Caroline Castrillon adds that self-motivation is one of the most powerful driving forces we can have. By finding meaning in your work and finding ways to reward yourself, you’ll feel much better even if you aren’t getting the external praise you deserve.

Consider a change

If you’ve adjusted your mindset and taken appropriate action and you’re still feeling undervalued, perhaps it’s time for a change. Your mental health is important, and a good cultural fit with an organization matters.

Sometimes a workplace or a manager is just flat-out toxic. It may be challenging to find a better situation, but that’s what you’ll need to decide. If you do choose to move on, Indeed recommends asking about the relationship between workers and management and about how feedback is delivered in your future interviews.

Wrap up

Don’t be afraid to utilize the resources available to you in order to regain a sense of appreciation. By adjusting your mindset, looking to others for help making changes, and recognizing your own value, you can turn your situation around. Only you can decide whether it’s a situation worth fixing or if it’s time to move on.

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Self-Care Tips To Ease Your Job Search Blues

Let’s face it—searching for a new job is stressful at the best of times, and the longer your search goes on, the harder of a toll it can take on your mental health. To avoid the burnout associated with doing too much, it’s important to incorporate self-care strategies into your routine.

When things seem tough, it’s important to take a step back and prioritize your mental health. We’ve looked at what career experts believe to be some of the most efficient and reassuring self-care tips so that you can take care of yourself and come out on top in your career journey!

Pay attention to your needs

At its most basic level, all self-care needs to start with looking after your physical well-being. It’s hard to grow and succeed if you’re neglecting your needs in favor of accomplishing your job-seeking goals.

“There has been a lot of research proving that physical exercise provides countless mental health benefits, including alleviating anxiety, minimizing stress, and increasing brain function.” –Ashley Wilson

At the very least, you need to make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating right, and getting in some exercise. It’s extremely easy to forget, or at least prioritize, your psychical well-being when you feel the pressure to find a job, especially when you really need the money. But eventually, you’ll begin to feel the neglect catch up with you.

Balance your time

When it comes to job search specific self-care, learning how to balance your time effectively is crucial. Finding a job is important, but you can’t let the search control your every waking minute.

The best way to start is to plan out your day and create a daily schedule, writes Lindsay E. Mack. Use a calendar scheduling app to plan out your day, making sure to include necessary breaks. Adding in time limits on certain tasks will keep you from becoming overwhelmed.

Not only with this help your mental health, but having a balanced approach will make sure you’re covering all of your job search bases and not leaving any avenues behind. Check out this example calendar from career coach Hannah Morgan as a place to get started.

Be social

When applying for jobs, don’t make the mistake of isolating yourself. Spending time with others in both a professional and friendly capacity can make the search easier to bare.

The Washington Post’s Danielle Paquette says that there are actual support groups for job seekers, providing a place for others going through the same things to connect. With the prevalence of LinkedIn and the availability of university alumni groups, these types of groups are even easier to find than ever.

“[M]eeting people has so many benefits to your mental health and to your job search! Engaging with others helps you keep a healthy balance during your job search, plus you never know who may have a hot job lead for you.” –Mac Prichard

Hannah Morgan writes that having an “accountability buddy” can help. Not only will this person make sure you’re working toward your milestones, but they can provide a fresh perspective to help you see things clearly.

Learn something new

If you want to take a break from what you’ve been doing but still want to focus on something career-related, there’s always the option of learning a new skill. We’ve evolved into a skills-based hiring cycle, and learning a new skill can be very rewarding.

Forbes’ Christine Y. Cruzvergara mentions the plethora of free or affordable online courses available for job seekers. Not only can you earn something that can go on a resume, but you might meet new friends or someone that can help your search!

Step away

Sometimes the most important thing you can do is take a step away from your search and do something fun. It may seem counter-intuitive, but having some fun is not only good for your mental well-being but a good way to reward yourself for your accomplishments.

Mac Prichard suggests getting out of the house and trying something new if possible. This can reinvigorate your life and help you keep things in perspective.

Career coach Emily Liou says that a sense of detachment in the job search is a good thing. Learning how to not take the search personally, handle the rejection well, and accept that something will come along is a healthy mindset. Knowing when to step back is part of embracing this mindset.

“As a jobseeker, the best state you can come from in your search is from a state of detachment: reminding yourself that a rejection isn’t personal, and you will find a great job or something even better down the line.” –Emily Liou

Wrap up

Some of the above tips may seem obvious, but knowing and doing aren’t the same. Are you making yourself a priority during your search? Sometimes the first step is simply recognizing you need a change or a break in routine so that you can get to where you need to be mentally. By embracing the above stratagems, you’ll be putting yourself in a good position to reduce burnout and find the career you deserve.

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Mentally Preparing For Job Search Rejection

Starting a new job search takes a lot of careful preparation. From cleaning up your documents, contacting references, and researching the ideal target companies, the search is an involved process. One additional preparation job seekers need to make is to learn how to deal with the inevitable rejection that will occur.

With the sheer amount of open positions available and the ease of applying for jobs online, rejection isn’t just a possibility—it’s an inevitability. You will face some rejection in your search, and that’s alright. We’ve previously covered how to handle compounding rejection. We’ll take things a step further and analyze how you can mentally prepare for rejection down the road so you can tackle your job search with a clear heart.

Understand outside factors

The first key to facing later rejection is understanding that there are plenty of outside factors that will lead to rejection that have nothing to do with your qualifications. Realizing that your rejection isn’t personal will go a long way toward a healthy mindset.

Team Interview Kickstart mentions that internal candidates may already be the favorite for a position or that another candidate may have already impressed the team. Someone may have a connection in the building you don’t.

“Try not to take it personally! I know that’s easier said than done, but it may have nothing to do with you. Lots of companies have internal candidates these days and are simply required by law (I think) to post publicly.” –Jocelyn Lyons

The only thing you can do is be as prepared as possible and hope you’re getting a fair chance. Update your resume, talk to your network, and find answers to any interview questions you think might come up.

Be deliberate

Job seekers will often attempt a volume-based approach and heavily rely on Easy Apply methods to try to get their foot in the door. This can actually be counter-intuitive and set you up for needless rejection down the road.

Career coach Emily Liou refers to this technique as “throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks” and says that it can eventually lead to discouragement down the road. More applications mean more chances, but it also means much more rejection.

It’s better to take a targeted approach in your method. Liou says to ask yourself deep questions about yourself and what you’re looking for in your next job and to narrow down your focus to jobs that mutually fit both parties. This allows you to take a more meaningful approach and target your resume to those jobs.

Accept the challenge

We all handle adversity in different ways. Some people can thrive in the face of rejection and overcome obstacles while others struggle. Thankfully, it’s possible to change your mindset and approach the challenge.

Forbes’ Jack Kelly says to learn how to let rejection stoke your passion for your work. A rejection could challenge you to try harder next time or to find new ways to showcase your passion. It can challenge you to be better in your next interview so that when you find the right job, you’ll be the best version of yourself. Learn how to go the extra mile, and it will benefit you in the long run.

“A Jedi-type mind trick is to feel that if you can rebound from a setback, still feel fine and have the people you love still care for you.” –Jack Kelly

Build resilience

Life is going to throw plenty of curveballs your way, and not just at work. The past few years have been particularly challenging as we’ve dealt with the pandemic and the follow-up. Resilience is one of the most sought-after skills by hiring managers, and it’s a key component of learning how to overcome rejection.

Jess Amy Dixon says that the best way to build resilience is to learn how to build yourself up. Even if you’re naturally a pessimist, there are simple activities you can partake in to remind yourself of your accomplishments and build confidence.

As a starting point, Emily Loiu recommends creating a “brag list” of all of your accomplishments so that you can look back on it when things are feeling rough. Having tangible reminders of what you bring to the table will help you internalize those accomplishments and feel stronger.

Wrap up

Rejection may be inevitable, but it certainly stinks! But understanding that you will face rejection and learning how to face it head-on is crucial to finding success down the road. These mental strategies will help you overcome rejection, but, ultimately, you have to do the work and find what works for you.

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