Mentally Preparing For Job Search Rejection
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Mental Health

  • Matt Hendershott
  • Career Change, Career Growth, Confidence, Mental Health
  • February 1, 2023

Mentally Preparing For Job Search Rejection

Starting a new job search takes a lot of careful preparation. From cleaning up your documents, contacting references, and researching the ideal target companies, the search is an involved process. One additional preparation job seekers need to make is to learn how to deal with the inevitable rejection that will occur.

With the sheer amount of open positions available and the ease of applying for jobs online, rejection isn’t just a possibility—it’s an inevitability. You will face some rejection in your search, and that’s alright. We’ve previously covered how to handle compounding rejection. We’ll take things a step further and analyze how you can mentally prepare for rejection down the road so you can tackle your job search with a clear heart.

Understand outside factors

The first key to facing later rejection is understanding that there are plenty of outside factors that will lead to rejection that have nothing to do with your qualifications. Realizing that your rejection isn’t personal will go a long way toward a healthy mindset.

Team Interview Kickstart mentions that internal candidates may already be the favorite for a position or that another candidate may have already impressed the team. Someone may have a connection in the building you don’t.

“Try not to take it personally! I know that’s easier said than done, but it may have nothing to do with you. Lots of companies have internal candidates these days and are simply required by law (I think) to post publicly.” –Jocelyn Lyons

The only thing you can do is be as prepared as possible and hope you’re getting a fair chance. Update your resume, talk to your network, and find answers to any interview questions you think might come up.

Be deliberate

Job seekers will often attempt a volume-based approach and heavily rely on Easy Apply methods to try to get their foot in the door. This can actually be counter-intuitive and set you up for needless rejection down the road.

Career coach Emily Liou refers to this technique as “throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks” and says that it can eventually lead to discouragement down the road. More applications mean more chances, but it also means much more rejection.

It’s better to take a targeted approach in your method. Liou says to ask yourself deep questions about yourself and what you’re looking for in your next job and to narrow down your focus to jobs that mutually fit both parties. This allows you to take a more meaningful approach and target your resume to those jobs.

Accept the challenge

We all handle adversity in different ways. Some people can thrive in the face of rejection and overcome obstacles while others struggle. Thankfully, it’s possible to change your mindset and approach the challenge.

Forbes’ Jack Kelly says to learn how to let rejection stoke your passion for your work. A rejection could challenge you to try harder next time or to find new ways to showcase your passion. It can challenge you to be better in your next interview so that when you find the right job, you’ll be the best version of yourself. Learn how to go the extra mile, and it will benefit you in the long run.

“A Jedi-type mind trick is to feel that if you can rebound from a setback, still feel fine and have the people you love still care for you.” –Jack Kelly

Build resilience

Life is going to throw plenty of curveballs your way, and not just at work. The past few years have been particularly challenging as we’ve dealt with the pandemic and the follow-up. Resilience is one of the most sought-after skills by hiring managers, and it’s a key component of learning how to overcome rejection.

Jess Amy Dixon says that the best way to build resilience is to learn how to build yourself up. Even if you’re naturally a pessimist, there are simple activities you can partake in to remind yourself of your accomplishments and build confidence.

As a starting point, Emily Loiu recommends creating a “brag list” of all of your accomplishments so that you can look back on it when things are feeling rough. Having tangible reminders of what you bring to the table will help you internalize those accomplishments and feel stronger.

Wrap up

Rejection may be inevitable, but it certainly stinks! But understanding that you will face rejection and learning how to face it head-on is crucial to finding success down the road. These mental strategies will help you overcome rejection, but, ultimately, you have to do the work and find what works for you.

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  • Matt Hendershott
  • Career Growth, Confidence, Mental Health
  • January 25, 2023

Building Resilience To Overcome Any Obstacle At Work

I’m sure we can all agree that the last few years have been particularly challenging thanks to the pandemic and its aftereffects. That likely won’t change in the future, as the country faces a potential recession and an ever-changing job market. Building resilience is crucial in order to stay strong during these trying times.

No matter what career path you’ve chosen, building up your resilience is a good idea, and we found that resilience is one of the sought-after skills to develop this year. Build the grit to conquer anything your career throws at you through resilience training!

Define your purpose

One of the best ways to stay on target when things get tough is to take a step back and focus on your purpose.

“What many people don’t realize is that having a sense of purpose has more tangible effects on our lives. There are actually a multitude of health benefits, both physical and mental.” –Medicareful Living

Think in terms of your personal brand and what you stand for. Are your daily actions helping you achieve that purpose? Forbes’ William Arruda says to let your purpose be your North Star and to follow it when making decisions. Arruda cites Margaret Scovern of Pariveda, who said, “Businesses and people driven by a well-defined purpose are much less likely to stagnate in the face of real or perceived challenges.”

By knowing your core values, you can weather the storm and take action in line with that purpose when things get tough.

Focus on your strengths

While you’re analyzing things on the personal side, you’ll want to take stock of what you bring to the table in order to help you overcome the odds.

We can often feel weak and lost when troubles occur, and many of us are prone to imposter syndrome. But by taking stock of our unique individual strengths, we can remind ourselves of our best qualities.

SHRM’s Kathleen Doheny writes that workers of all levels need a reminder of their strengths from time to time. Don’t be afraid to remind others of their strengths as well! We may all struggle at certain aspects of our jobs, but a quick reminder of what we’re good at helps build the resilience to get through.

Set boundaries

Burnout is one of the most common tests workers face in their day-to-day lives. With so much going on in the world, at home, and at work, we can place too many burdens upon ourselves and create ridiculous expectations for ourselves. Learning how to set clear boundaries is key to reducing burnout and increasing resilience.

“Burnout is all too common these days. If you learn to truly take care of yourself, resilience is an automatic side effect.” –William Arruda

Karen Phillips of BetterUp Care mentions turning off your phone after work hours as a simple way to set boundaries to regain some control of your life. Sometimes, setting boundaries can be as simple as learning how to say “no.” You’ll need to find what works for you, but creating a better work-life balance will go a long way toward building resilience.

Build a support network

The above steps are great individual efforts at minimizing the chance of being completely bogged down, but the best way to build the resilience to overcome anything is to create a network you can rely on and who can remind you of your strengths.

HR Today found that workers who felt supported in building workplace relationships were twice as likely to report high individual resilience. These relationships also lead to a greater sense of resilience throughout the entire organization.

William Arruda mentions that while remote work can make it feel like you might be lonely, a support system is only a few clicks away, and it’s easier than ever to connect with or find a support network.

Wrap up

Some of the above advice is easier said than done. Setbacks in our careers are inevitable, and some are easier to recover from than others. But building resilience is universally beneficial and will make bouncing back easier. By taking time to take an inner look at yourself, learning how to create a healthy work-life balance to counter burnout, and finding a support system, you’ll be setting yourself up for success down the road.

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  • Matt Hendershott
  • Culture, Mental Health
  • November 22, 2022

Expressing Gratitude In The Workplace

With Thanksgiving around the corner, gratitude is on everyone’s mind. But it doesn’t need to take a turkey dinner to show your appreciation. A little gratitude goes a long way year round—especially in the workplace!

The National Alliance Of Mental Health (NAMI) of California shared multiple studies showing how expressing and receiving gratitude can improve mood, reduce stress, and build morale. Employees want to feel valued at work, and expressing thanks is a great way to build a culture of value. Whether you’re a manager or simply a team member, expressing gratitude will always have a positive influence on your coworkers. Express your thanks by holding close to these thoughts.

Be specific

A simple “great job!” or “keep up the good work!” may provide a slight boost, but the more specific you can be, the more your expression of gratitude will be taken to heart.

Focusing on a tangible accomplishment will give your thanks more merit and really feel personal. This doesn’t have to be a massive, earth-shattering accomplishment necessarily. SnackNation’s Connor Garret writes to highlight the little things so people know that doing their job well is appreciated. You may even highlight something the person didn’t think was a big deal themselves and really give them a boost!

“Sometimes, the things worth celebrating aren’t even quantifiable. For instance, you could even celebrate a team member who spreads consistent positivity in the workplace.” -Connor Garret

Focus on those not in the spotlight

Not everyone likes to be in the spotlight or gets the chance to be in it. Not every accomplishment is flashy, but everyone keeps the foundation of the organization running. Everyone deserves to feel like a valued member of the team!

Forbes’ Kyle Bailey mentions an award his company created to highlight behind-the-scenes accomplishments. The “NuWarrior” award is given to those who “sustain the backbone of the company” that may not otherwise receive recognition. This assures that those not always in the spotlight have their accomplishments recognized and feel like valued members of the team.

Think of those in your organization that might not always receive the glory. Take time to go out of your way to at least thank them or recognize their efforts, and your appreciation will go a long way.

Express through actions

Awards like Bailey’s “NuWarrior” are an excellent way to show appreciation. Not only did you take time out of your day to thank someone, but you did so in a tangible manner.

Enertia Software CEO Vince Dawkins recommends verbally offering a “thank you” (especially publicly!) but also finding a way to express gratitude in a way beyond words. This could be direct financial compensation or a reward of some kind. But even if you aren’t in a leadership role, you can still offer a little extra by offering assistance, acts of service, or some way to make their job easier, says Herzing University.

“People remember kind words of gratitude, but they also feel respected and extremely appreciated when something more is given to them.” –Kimberly A. Whitler

Employers can offer things like care packages (great for remote team members), awards, gift cards, and shoutouts, but they can also encourage a culture of gratitude, writes Connor Garret. Encouraging your team to regularly express gratitude is an excellent way to show that appreciation starts from the top and that you have a culture of value.

Write handwritten notes

One of the most well-received tokens of appreciation is one of the most old-school and traditional. It’s hard to beat a handwritten letter when it comes to expressing gratitude.

Headsup Corporation cited Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania who studied positive psychological therapies. He found that receiving a hand-written letter of appreciation had a bigger effect on happiness than any other method.

Not only does a written thank you note show appreciation, but the extra effort taken to write out the accomplishment shows, and it gives the recipient a tangible token to look to. And Forbes’ Kimberly A. Whitler suggests that a physical copy won’t get lost in the abyss the way an email might.

“It really shows you care enough to go the extra mile to ensure the recipient feels appreciated.” –Sheldon Yellen, BELFOR Property Restoration

Wrap up

No matter what the season is, there’s never a bad time to express gratitude at work. Expressing and receiving thanks is a great way to build morale and create a positive culture. You don’t have to be a manager to take charge—it’s always good to be recognized by your peers as well! Take time to express sincere thanks, and you’ll be building toward a wonderful work culture.

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  • Matt Hendershott
  • Confidence, Leadership, Mental Health
  • September 28, 2022

Ditch These Phrases To Become More Confident

Whether you’re applying for your first job, branching out into a career change, or you’re an experienced leader, confidence is crucial in establishing yourself in your career. Becoming truly confident in your work life can be a lifelong process, but there are small steps you can take right now to lay the necessary foundation.

By doing something as simple as self-monitoring the language you use on a daily basis, you can avoid phrases that portray a lack of confidence. When you use the right language, not only will you appear confident to others, but you’ll convince yourself as well.

Ladder’s Kaitlyn McInnis, Forbes’ Christine Comaford, Inc’s Marla Tabaka, and CNBC Make It’s Kathy and Ross Petras cited some key phrases to ditch in order to exemplify confidence. We’ll categorize them and highlight a few of the most egregious examples.

Verbal qualifiers

“Almost: “I think I’ve said almost everything about that.”” -Christine Comaford

The core of what you’re saying can express your idea effectively, but a single word or innocuous phrase will take the power away from your message. In the above example, the speaker could have finished strong, but the phrase “I think” and the word “almost” take the wind out of the sails.

Qualifying words like the two above lead to being perceived as a weak leader or speaker. When you use these words, you aren’t owning the statement you’re making, and you’re disconnecting from your feelings, according to Christine Comaford. These words take the authority away from the speaker, making you appear weaker.

Med School Insiders lists adding “Does that make sense?”, “Know what I mean?”, and “I dunno” as other common qualifiers nervous speakers will add to the end of their ideas that express a lack of confidence.

Simply removing the qualifiers keeps the core of your message intact while making it appear stronger. Marla Tabaka provides the following:

“I just feel like this is an important problem for us to explore.” vs. “This is an important problem for us to explore.”

Which sounds more confident to you?

Being indirect or cliched

“I just wanted to check in…” – Kaitlyn McInnis

No matter who you’re speaking to, you have agency. While you should always be respectful, just because you aren’t in a position of power doesn’t mean you have to be meek. Make the most of your time by speaking clearly and confidently.

Opening an email with “I just wanted to check in” and closing with “Looking forward to hearing from you” are common cliches that Kaitlyn McInnis says to avoid. These phrases, and the ones like them, are dancing around the subject instead of getting to the heart of the matter. These phrases can even make it sound like you’re apologizing for simply requesting information or a follow-up.

“I hope this email finds you well” is another fan non-favorite. Not only is it a massive cliché, but no one actually talks like this. It’s a greeting of the inexperienced. A simple “good wishes” or “I hope you’re having a great day” feels more natural and sincere.

Over apologizing

“Sorry to bother you, but…”- Kathy and Ross Petras

Tying into the above point, the problem with many of these words in phrases is that they appear overly apologetic. You shouldn’t feel like you’re impeding on someone’s time with a necessary request.

Apologizing when necessary is something everyone should strive for, but when you’re following up or asking for clarity, you shouldn’t feel excusatory.

Kaitlyn McInnis suggests finding ways to turn an apology into a thank you. If it took you a while to respond to an email, thank the sender for their patience rather than apologize for the tardiness. We all have things come up, and everyone should be willing to forgive the occasional late email.

“Sorry to bother you” is one of the most guilty examples. Kathy and Ross Petras say that you can appear much more confident and less self-deprecating with a simple “excuse me.” It’s a polite way to garner attention without belittling yourself. Remember—being direct is a sign of confidence!

Wrap up

We all fall victim to these weak phrases, and some of them are so ingrained in our vocabulary that we don’t even realize it! Take some time to self-reflect and analyze your language choices. You can even go back to previous emails or texts to see if you’re guilty of these practices. Avoid qualifying language, be direct and sincere, and don’t apologize simply for existing. These small steps will go far in making you sound confident to your peers and, with luck, yourself!

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  • Matt Hendershott
  • Career Advice, Confidence, Mental Health, Negotiation
  • July 27, 2022

5 Principles For Saying “No” At Work

It’s always the best practice to be a team player at work. But sometimes you simply have too much on your plate, or other tasks are higher priority. Sometimes, you need to just say “no.”

But saying “no” isn’t always easy. You may be concerned about letting your team down or being viewed as uncooperative. You may simply be a people pleaser and struggle to let others down in any manner.

But there are a plethora of reasons why saying “no” is okay. Forbes Coaches Council mentions a task impeding your other work, having too many existing tasks on your plate, not wanting to do another worker’s work, and feeling threatened as just a few of the many reasons you may need to decline.

Accepting too much work can lead to burnout and negative mental health effects. It’s okay to say “no!” But if you struggle saying the word “no” and need a little extra guidance, follow these five principles to stay firm and guilt-free.

Communicate clearly

If you simply can’t handle a task, you need to communicate that as clearly and quickly as possible. Don’t let the fear of a backlash prevent you from expressing yourself as soon as possible. Waiting until the last minute is almost never the best interpersonal strategy.

Don’t be vague when you decline, otherwise, the person may not be sure you declined at all. Clearly state your “no,” and be direct and polite. Career coach Melody Wilding adds that apologizing and telling the truth will go a long way towards keeping things professional and your refusal being accepted.

Explain yourself

When you decline, don’t simply say “no” and leave it at that. It’s good manners to say why you aren’t able to help with this task. Explaining yourself softens the blow of the rejection and helps the person understand your motives, Indeed explains.

You don’t need to give a drawn-out explanation, but a few clarifying sentences can make all the difference. Remember, there are plenty of good reasons to decline to accept a new task, and they don’t need to be overly complicated.

“Saying something like, “I’m so sorry. I stretched myself too thin, and I won’t be able to make it,” is sufficient.” –Melody Wilding

Come up with an alternative

Even if you plan on saying “no” to a request, there are still ways you can be a team player and offer assistance in the matter. Flexibility is the key, says Ashira Prossack.

By explaining the reason you aren’t able to help right now, you may find ways to help when those reasons are no longer a factor. If you currently have too much on your plate at the moment, that may change by the end of the week, and you might be able to offer assistance then.

Alternatively, you might offer to help with a smaller part of the project that you can currently handle. Or you might know of someone better suited to the task or an available resource that can help. Flexibility and offering to help in some small ways show you aren’t being completely dismissive and want the project to succeed.

“If you can’t do something on a specific day or time, see if there’s another timeframe that works for both you and the other person.” –Ashira Prossack, communication trainer

Choose your battles

You can’t simply decline every task that comes your way. Work will involve tasks we don’t want to do, and you don’t want to be someone who declines everything. Being respectful and choosing the right moments to say “no” will lead to your dismissal being respected.

CNN Business found that viewing tasks as “promotable” or “non-promotable” can help you view which tasks are worth making the extra time for. If a task can lead to career advancement or increasing your skills, it might be worth making extra time and saying “yes”.

“Think more strategically on what is the non-promotable work that really makes sense for you to spend your time… find out where yours makes the most sense.” –CNN Business

Ultimately, you may have to compromise. It’s not always possible to completely say no, but if you’ve been direct and respectful, you may find a solution or timeframe that better meets your needs.

But don’t be a pushover

But a compromise isn’t a full “yes.” You might be flexible and offer help another time, but you’ve still said “no” to their current needs, and you can feel confident in that. Indeed says if you immediately cave and completely give in, your coworkers will know they can get you to reverse your stance in future conflicts.

Ask A Boss’ Alison Green reminds us that it’s important to know how to set boundaries. It’s good to be helpful and flexible, but if you feel your time is being taken advantage of, you need to stand your ground—especially in cases when it feels like you’re being asked to do someone else’s work. Accept this and recognize when to comprise and when to stay firm.

Wrap up

It isn’t always easy to say “no,” and none of us want to seem unhelpful. But there are plenty of good reasons to say “no” to accepting more work. Make sure that you respond clearly and explain yourself, and try to be flexible when you can. You won’t always be able to say “no,” but if you choose your battles carefully, no one will be able to blame you for being firm when it counts.

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