How To Successfully Navigate Workplace Conflict

You’ll spend a significant amount of time at work seeing the same people every day. Ideally, you enjoy spending time with your workplace acquaintances, and you can work together well. But even the strongest relationships have frayed ends, and you (usually!) don’t get to choose the people you work with. Eventually, there will be conflict.

A hectic project may bring out the choler, or your teammate may have a contradictory work style to yours. Maybe you and your boss don’t see eye-to-eye on your salary negotiation, or maybe someone simply keeps eating your lunch. No matter what form it may appear in, workplace conflict is unavoidable.

However, conflict is not always something negative. Conflict can be a catalyst for growth. According to organizational communication scholars Stanley Deetz and Sheryl Stevenson:

“(a) conflict is natural; (b) conflict is good and necessary; and (c) most conflicts are based on real differences” -Deetz and Stevenson (1986)

With help from leadership and workplace experts across the globe, we’ll examine the nature of conflict, recognize that conflict doesn’t have to be hostile, and learn how to effectively navigate the murky waters of workplace conflict.

Conflict itself isn’t a bad thing

As the aforementioned communication scholars have noted, conflict is both natural and necessary. It’s impossible to imagine a group of people in any setting that won’t eventually have a difference of opinion and clash.

“As with any place full of interpersonal relationships, a workplace can be rife with a wide range of conflicts. There are the work-specific problems related to promotions, salary disparity, lack of recognition for achievement, or shared responsibility among a team. There are also more general issues with personal space and privacy; and then there are plain old personality conflicts.” –Rita Friedman, Career Coach

The first instinct many have is to avoid the conflict and hope it passes so as not to create a hostile environment. Yet this denies an opportunity for growth and understanding. By leaving the cause of a conflict in the dark, a solution can never come to light. Imagine a colleague always talks over you in meetings, leaving your ideas on the sidelines. By staying silent, you may never get your chance to have your voice heard.

Libby Calaby believes without a strong leader willing to step in as an unbiased adjudicator, a team will eventually tear itself apart. A third party can help, but an understanding that conflict is necessary and that it doesn’t need to be antagonistic can empower you to take charge.

Conflict doesn’t have to be hostile

The biggest myth of conflict is that conflict is always a hostile act. You don’t need to call your coworker out in front of everyone and put them on the spot or come up with some elaborate revenge plot.

Think of conflict simply as a disagreement. A conflict may sound severe but we have disagreements all the time, right? If I want to go out for tacos but you’d rather get a pizza, that’s not such a big deal, is it? We may have a little debate about the merits of each, and ultimately both of us won’t get our way, but that’s not something cataclysmic.

Putting conflict into this perspective makes it easier to handle conversations a bit more easily. Nexxt’s Alexander Richardson offers the example of negotiations with your boss. You may want something from your boss, a raise, or a day off, and assume your boss is against you. You may believe yourself to be in conflict with your boss, and you may be right, but that doesn’t mean you’re at odds. Think of the opportunity as negotiation and you’ll get the best results.

How to handle workplace conflicts

With a better understanding that conflict is necessary for growth and that it doesn’t need to be aggressive, how can we handle workplace conflicts in a respectful manner? The experts at Small Biz Viewpoints, Robert Half, and Advanced Leadership Consulting each have their ideas on how to handle the process. These tips fall into three broad categories to get you started.

1. Be proactive

Don’t let a conflict fester or snowball out of control. You can often stop conflict before it happens by checking in with your peers and asking for simple feedback, writes Carl Robinson of Advanced Leadership Consulting.

He adds that, while recognizing conflict is inevitable, you want to establish conflict resolution procedures in advance. “Think of the procedures as ground rules for behavior within and outside the team. Don’t wait for the conflict to happen before establishing ground rules for navigating conflict.”

2. Be respectful

Stick to the facts and don’t make a conflict feel personal. Keep the argument on the issue at hand. This prevents the other party from immediately feeling defensive or attacked, and they’ll be far more willing to listen to what you have to say.

“Be mindful during the resolution process, you should use neutral terms and display open body language with all of the employees involved. For this reason, you should focus on the events and behaviors instead of the personalities.” -Small Biz Viewpoints

3. Compromise

Chances are, you won’t reach a perfect solution for both parties involved. Learning how to compromise is key. While it may feel like you’re conceding or giving up, learning how to give and take is vital for growth and to move past a disagreement. Robert Half believes “[D]iplomacy is based on tradeoffs and finding an acceptable middle ground. Aim to create a win-win situation where both parties walk away gaining something.”

Wrap up

Even in the best company culture, even if you adore your coworkers, conflicts will happen. Keeping perspective in these conflicts is necessary to gain an understanding and come to an amicable solution. You may not always “win” your conflicts, but by realizing that conflict is necessary and can be positive, and understanding how to handle conflicts, you’ll come away without losing or damaging your workplace relationships. But either way, don’t eat your coworkers’ lunch. That’s just impolite.

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Eradicate These Flaws in Your Leadership

The best leaders are working to build strong units and empower their employees. This can be achieved in many different forms. However, there are countless mistakes that even the most highly touted leaders would confess. The difference between them and today’s lowly leaders? They were intentional in recognizing their mistakes, eradicating them, and researching ways to develop new habits. 

With the help of career coach Lolly Daskal and her blog ‘Lead From Within’, we’ve identified three critical flaws you MUST abolish. If made, these mistakes will lead to a poorly structured work environment and toxic culture. 

Selfish Tendencies

No one likes a manager with narcissistic tendencies. Your success is the benefit of a quality team of individuals. It is your responsibility to let that be known and share the spotlight.

Despite being in charge, you must never let go of your willingness and openness to learning. You may be the expert on a few particular subject manners, but being a great leader consists of knowing when you are not and entrusting those who are. Relying on your team members will keep morale high and build a positive workflow. 

Be powerful yet humble. Research would argue that leaders are more powerful when they are humble. Why? True humility is “when someone has an accurate assessment of both his/her strengths and weakness and sees all this in the context of the larger whole.” 

Causing Conflict & Avoiding It

When you know that you are a vital part of your company and its success, it is easy to gradually become arrogant and compassionless without even realizing it. You begin to disvalue your team’s opinions and close yourself off from the culture, all while demanding respect in the process. Your style of leadership may be the cause of conflict within your organization. 

When conflict arises, a poor leader’s response is to shut the door and deflect responsibility. Linking back to the topic of humility, studies show that those low in humility tend to overreact during conflict, refuse to apologize, and often plot revenge. Be efficient in your decision-making, but don’t lose sight of the big picture in determining what is best for everyone.

“Both arrogance and humility are contagious. Both can be taught and caught.” -Unknown.

Lack of Accountability

When things are not working out to expectation, weak leaders will look to pass blame and create excuses. Take consistent responsibility for your choices and encourage others to do the same. Without accountability, your company’s aspirations to carry out a specific strategy becomes wasted time. Productivity is destined to ‘take a hit’ as your rogue mentality will set the standard for employee performance. Sure, this mentality may not overtake every employee, but by that fact, it will only lead to ‘Me vs. You’ implication. Taking ownership of your actions or the mistakes made by your delegates will go along way in garnering respect and getting your employees to work harder. 

In a recent article from Partners In Leadership, they revealed six warning signs of a lack of accountability in the workplace:

  1. Low Morale
  2. Unclear Priorities
  3. Declining Engagement
  4. Ineffective Execution
  5. Low Levels of Trust
  6. High Turnover

Wrap Up

Anyone who lacks sound character is often incapable of quality leadership. As a result, your company may experience high turnover and displeased employees. Best-selling author and keynote speaker Bernard Marr knows the character traits that set true leaders apart from followers. In his recent article, he reveals eight signs that a person might not be ready for a position of leadership.
Examples: Lack of empathy; Fear of change; Wishy-washy; Too bossy. 

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