How To Politely Say “No” At Work

Saying “no” at work isn’t always easy, especially if you’re a people pleaser. But sometimes, we must decline, whether it’s thanks to a full workload, a lack of resources, or because a task is simply unfeasible.

But just as learning to say “no” can be a challenge, learning the right way to say “no” is just as laborious. Coming off too strongly will hurt your interpersonal relationships while being unclear will make others uncertain you actually declined something. Learn to take charge and clearly but politely say “no” by adhering to these reminders.

““No, that idea sucks,” is quite different from, “No, I’d like to take a different approach.”” –Sara McCord, The Muse

Listen first

Even if you know right away you aren’t going to be able to help someone, make sure not to rudely interrupt with a dismissive “no.” Your respect for your boundaries is good, but you can decline in the right way after listening to what someone needs.

The Muse’s Sara McCord says that even when you know an idea is unfeasible or unpopular to let whoever is asking for help finish speaking before going further. The speaker may think you just don’t get it or think you’re being rude if you cut them off early. By listening to their full explanation, you can pick up on their needs. Even if you can’t meet those needs, you might be able to point them in a helpful direction while still respecting your boundaries.

Stay polite

If someone asks you for something and you respond with a quick “nah” it won’t be well received. Especially if your boss is the one asking you. There’s a balance to be struck with being clear but not being a jerk about it.

Asana’s Alicia Raeburn suggests starting by leading with something positive. Don’t go straight to the “no”—open up with a “Thank you” or “You’re so good at thinking of these opportunities” to let the asker know you appreciate them coming to you. You may have been the first person they asked because they trust you or you’re particularly skilled with something. Even if you can’t help this time, being polite about your decline will keep the interpersonal respect alive.

Offering to help in the future is another way to politely respond without shutting someone down. Maybe the timing is just bad right now or maybe you have too much on your plate. If they feel they can ask you again in the future, they’ll take that “no” even more positively.

“Unfortunately, I have too much to do today. I can help you another time.” –Indeed

Be honest

If you really don’t want to do something, a common first instinct is to make up an excuse of sorts. It might feel like without a great reason, your “no” will be poorly received. But honesty is the best policy.

Forbes’ Ashira Prossack reminds us that being honest doesn’t mean explaining every single detail, however. If you have a task or appointment that would conflict with helping someone, you can just say you have a conflict and give a brief explanation. While you might feel bad declining to help someone, you also don’t owe them every single detail. In fact, the more details you provide, the more it may seem like you’re making up an excuse.

Be clear and firm

While the above tips are good for framing your rejection, make sure at some point you actually include the word “no.” Your response might otherwise seem so polite and professional that it seems like you’re agreeing despite your other commitments.

Indeed says to be consistent and firm with your “nos.” If you open with “no but eventually change your mind, people will think they can always get you to do what they want by constantly asking. Staying firm on your “no,” especially by doing it politely, will help the “no” stick.

Clockify’s Dunja Jovanovic says that you can reinforce your “no” assertively by combining it with the right body language. Shaking your head, crossing your arms, and sitting back are all signs of dismissal. If your words are polite but your tone and stance is firm, the asker will get the message without you coming across rudely.

Practice

For some of us, the idea of saying “no” in general is difficult enough. When we’re put on the spot and don’t want to disappoint someone, it’s easy to default to saying “yes,” even when it’s the wrong call. By keeping the above points in mind and practicing, however, we can stop ourselves from auto-agreeing.

“Sometimes when we are blindsided, things come out the wrong way. Therefore, practicing how to say “no” will prepare you for those times that your bandwidth is stretched to its max.” –Fellow

Wrap up

Saying “no” when needed will prevent burnout while setting healthy boundaries. The key to declining someone at work is to do it in the right way. Rethink that saying “no” means in the first place. It isn’t an attack on the person asking. You’ll often have good reasons to say “no,” and someone else may be able to help. Politely getting through the “no” is much easier if you hear the other person out and kindly but firmly explain why you can’t help.

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Body Language Tips For Virtual Meetings

Being self-aware of your body language is crucial in your communication efforts, even if you’re operating remotely. Nonverbal clues are just as significant in communication as your words and can help convey your message.

You’ll build better workplace relationships and find better success in business if you can express yourself nonverbally. Make sure you’re using your body to advantage in your virtual communication efforts by adhering to these tried-and-true strategies.

Eye contact

One of the easiest ways to appear engaged as an active listener in your efforts is to make eye contact with your peers. The eyes are a window into a person, and good eye contact allows you to form a lasting impression.

“On the other hand, failing to make eye contact can signal disinterest, dishonesty, or lack of confidence.” –Lolly Daskal

In a digital setting, you’ll need to balance the shifting perspective when other people talk and take center stage. Forbes’ Bianca Miller Cole writes to balance looking right at the speaking with looking directly into your camera so others can make eye contact with you. This may take some practice, but it’s philosophically the same idea as looking between different people in the room in a physical setting.

Facial expressions

Don’t put all the burden of effort on your eyes, though. You must utilize your facial expressions properly to sell your body language as well.

Leadership expert Lolly Daskal warns that inconsistent facial expressions can undermine what you’re saying, create distrust, or generate confusion. If you’re talking about a great sales plan, for example, and you’re frowning or shaking your head, it’ll make that plan sound not so great. Make sure to be aware of your expressions and make sure they match the tone of what you’re saying.

Also, make sure to smile when appropriate! It’ll add some friendliness and warmth against the cold backdrop of technology.

Posture

Make sure your physical form is making the same effort as your face is. Even if someone can’t see your entire form on camera, there’s plenty on screen for someone to see your posture. Good posture is a cornerstone of good body language.

Even while seated, your posture makes a world of difference. LinkedIn says you can present an air of professionalism and interest by keeping your shoulders back, your back straight, and your arms slightly out. Leaning forward also shows interest in the speaker while leaning back does the opposite. Avoid slumped shoulders and crossing your arms. While in some settings this might make you feel approachable and casual, in meetings it will make you appear distant and disinterested.

“Tilting your head is a natural response during conversations. It often indicates that a person is listening intently and thinking about your message.” –Indeed

Hand gestures

In a virtual setting, your hands might be out of view for most of the meeting. But don’t be afraid to bring them on screen in the right manner to enunciate your message!

Indeed says good hand usage can make or break your message, especially during interviews. When you aren’t speaking, it’s a good idea to keep your hands on your lap or at your side. But when speaking, don’t be shy about bringing them up to express excitement or gesture meaningfully. Just make sure not to cover your face on camera.

“Having your hands open is a sign of transparency and honesty, while it is essential to remember that pointing or crossing your arms can look aggressive to some.” –i3-Technologies

Framing

One major challenge you’ll face remotely is in framing your face within the camera. It’s hard to express body language if your body isn’t framed visibly on the screen. Finding the right distance to show enough of you without being too much of a close-up or having you three rooms away is the challenge.

Communication aficionado Jelena Fisic says the sweet spot is to have your entire head, shoulders, and the top of your torso on screen. Having just your head in view limits your body language arsenal. You want enough space to be able to bring your hands into play.

Avoid distractions

In a physical setting, meetings are usually conducted in a separate room to minimize distractions, but you won’t have that luxury remotely. Remote work is nice because it allows you to easily multitask, but visibly multitasking in a meeting is bad form.

Fellow’s Hannah Ross says that while you might think you’re being discrete, it isn’t hard for a viewer to track your eyes and see that you’re focused elsewhere. This will not only make you appear disinterested but it is disrespectful to whoever is speaking.

In order to also not be a distraction for others, Ross recommends picking an uncluttered background.

Wrap up

By being aware of the vibe you’re giving off with your body during virtual meetings, you can practice intentionality to make your message more effective. Following the aforementioned tips will make you appear more engaged, more persuasive, and more likely to form good business relationships in your next virtual meeting or interview.

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Becoming More Persuasive At Work

Being an effective communicator is one of the core keys to success in life and often starts with how persuasive you can be. You might have the most outstanding ideas imaginable, but they’ll go unnoticed if you can’t get others interested.

Becoming more persuasive will open many doors in your career. Whether you’re trying to land a new job, make a big sale, inspire your team, or start a new project, being able to convince others that you and your ideas have merit will lead to success. If you want to become more convincing at work, start incorporating these ideas into your efforts.

Find a framing device

Your storytelling efforts will always be better with preparation and care. Even if you have a wonderful idea, if it’s crammed into a meandering story with lots of pointless fluff, it’ll go unnoticed. Knowing how to frame your argument is crucial to persuade others.

Great Learning’s Tanuja Bahirat writes that a good framing has three core components: placement (the right time, place, and audience), approach (how you present your argument), and words (the right words for your audience). This will help you build the outline for your argument.

For an example of an effective framing device, consider the STAR method. This method is commonly used to answer interview questions by taking a situation, task, action, and results focus to quickly share a story and express your value.

Establish credibility

In any persuasive effort, the more credible and trustworthy you appear, the more naturally persuasive you’ll appear. It makes sense that an expert in a field would have more clout than someone who doesn’t know the material well.

“To be believable, we must be credible. To be credible, we must be truthful.” –Edward R. Murrow, journalist

Building up your knowledge on the topic and developing a reputation in your niche go a long way toward convincing others. Maria Thimothy of OneIMS says that if you’re viewed as an expert, your efforts will be less viewed as an attempt to persuade and more of an attempt to educate.

Journalist Edward R. Murrow suggests backing up any arguments you make with concrete facts and avoiding pushing a personal narrative.

Focus on goals

Whatever argument you’re trying to make is likely based on some personal narrative, of course. You wouldn’t be trying to persuade someone if the topic wasn’t important to you. But phrasing something in terms of your needs won’t win you any supporters. You want to bring value to your audience, so focus on their needs.

“The values that emerge consistently from discussions with your colleagues give you insights into the criteria they use for deciding how to channel their effort.” –Art Markman, Fast Company

Enhance’s Jess Coles says to start by putting yourself in your audience’s shoes before answering what they can gain from whatever you’re offering. Have a good idea of what your audience needs rather than basing your argument on baseless assumptions. Your job is to help them achieve their goals and fulfill their needs. By thinking in terms of those needs, you can offer a solution, which will make your eventual call to action much more impactful.

Consider the opposing viewpoint

There will always be opposition to your persuasive efforts. Otherwise, you wouldn’t need to persuade someone! Even if you have a solid argument, people have opposing values, other appealing options, or won’t be convinced something is a big problem. Sometimes, they might agree with you but think an answer might not be worth the resources or effort.

Think of what these opposing arguments might be and come up with counterpoints before those opposing points can be raised by the audience. Not only will you be able to throw in a few more persuasive arguments but it’ll show that you understand the topic and the audience’s concerns, increasing credibility.

Be confident

Above all else, there isn’t anything quite as persuasive as expressing your case with a sense of calm confidence. If you truly believe in your argument and have prepared accordingly, it can smooth over any other bumps in your attempt. People aren’t likely going to resonate with someone who doesn’t appear confident—just make sure that confidence doesn’t bleed into arrogance.

“Confidence is like the sriracha sauce of conversation, making everything it touches infinitely more appealing. But how do we convey it?” –Eric Barker

Eric Barker says to cut out hedging words and filler words as a starting point. Hedging words like “maybe” and “kind of” make your argument less persuasive while “ums” and “likes” can make you appear nervous or unprepared.

Dwell With Dignity’s Ashley Sharp says confidence comes from passion, which is built on a foundation of credibility and knowledge. Your audience may not remember every concrete fact you present, but they’ll remember how you presented them.

Wrap up

Hopefully, this article persuaded you on the importance of having good persuasive skills. There will be countless times in your career when you need to convince someone to do something. Adding persuasive skills to your storytelling repertoire will have amazing benefits in the long run!

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Managing Expectations At Work

We all know work isn’t always a great time. Whether it’s a toxic environment or simply being in the wrong role, sometimes a workplace is a bad fit. But it isn’t always outside factors to blame. Sometimes, the biggest culprit is our own expectations.

Not every job is a dream job, but you can make moves toward creating a better environment. Cultivating the right mindset and taking necessary steps are the key to setting the right expectations at work and can create a better environment for your mental health. If you’re looking to better manage your mindset at work, take the following advice to heart.

“Managing expectations at work involve understanding company culture and how best to create healthy boundaries that guide your association with your colleagues, leadership, and management.” –Andrew Langat, Highrise

Look for mutual goals

You may want a super high-paying job working toward exactly whatever your dream goal is, but that’s often unrealistic. We all have to make compromises in our work life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find some meaning in your job. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, find a way to focus on mutual goals with your organization.

Checkr states that the most engaged workers are the most productive and happy. While a good organization will find ways to reinforce the company’s culture and goals, you may need to find ways to connect with that message on your own. Find something about your work you can take pride in and try to focus on that.

Learn to communicate

One of the problems with expectations is that your expectations may vary differently from those of your co-workers or your managers, becoming a source of frustration and burnout. In order to avoid this, we must become better communicators to build an effective relationship based on respect and understanding.

“By introducing your expectations in the beginning stages of a professional relationship, you can help establish consistent guidelines.” –Indeed

Valerie Cantella says to not be afraid to overcommunicate. The more willing you are to open a dialogue, the easier it will be to find out what is and isn’t working. Valerie says to keep things SMART—specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Remember to keep your desires realistic and be open to similar feedback from others.

“Here’s a tip: To REDUCE conflict when communicating with others, you need to communicate in their style, not yours. The more you understand how YOU navigate change and conflict, the easier it is to understand and adapt your behavior.” –Kathy Marcino

Be flexible

Some of us like to set clear goals and expectations for ourselves while others prefer to keep things fluid. Neither style is better than the other, but in both cases, flexibility is key. It’s good to be goal-driven, but being too rigid in your expectations can lead to unhappiness.

Checkr reminds us that there are different generations raised on different work priorities and that even where we work is a flexible matter. With so many variables, everyone has different needs and expectations. It’s important to remind yourself of this and to be flexible.

But set boundaries

But being flexible doesn’t mean being a pushover or only catering to others’ needs. Setting healthy boundaries at work is a good way to reduce stress and keep others’ expectations from overpowering your own.

If someone else’s expectations seem too high, you can always say no, reminds Emily May of Niagara Institute. Agreeing to too much can lead to burnout and resentment. Setting reasonable boundaries is never a bad thing, even if the prospect seems difficult. If saying no feels daunting, you can always ask clarifying questions or say that you’ll reevaluate once you finish other tasks on your plate.

Learn not to take things personally

A final reminder is not to take any setbacks or conflicts personally. You may feel that you’ve earned the right to lead a big project or land a big promotion but got passed over. It’s easy to get frustrated and let the experience cloud your expectations, but these things aren’t always personal. It’s good to be ambitious, but assuming everything will go your way or that you’ll soar up the corporate ladder is a good way to find yourself disappointed. Stay hungry, but recognize when your expectations are too high or unrealistic.

Wrap up

We can get wrapped up in our day-to-day work lives too much sometimes, but it is valuable to take some time to reflect on your expectations. Is your mindset toward your job healthy and realistic? Have you communicated with others in a respectful way so that your expectations are clear? Ask yourself these questions and follow the above advice and see if it can help you realign.

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What To Do When You Feel Underappreciated At Work

If a feeling of being underappreciated at work is causing you stress or burnout, you’re not alone.

A Bonusly survey found that almost 50% of respondents left a position due to feeling undervalued. Almost two-thirds of respondents said they feel underappreciated by their employer. A Gallup poll had similar results, finding that 65% of American workers feel undervalued.

When you work for someone else for a living, it’s frustrating to feel like your contributions don’t matter. But it doesn’t have to end there. If you’re feeling underappreciated at work, you can take these steps to make positive changes.

Consider your expectations

First, you must take a look at your own mindset. While we all want our hard work to be noted, are your expectations realistic, or are you hoping for a little too much fanfare?

Harvard Business Review’s Rebecca Knight says to remember that your coworkers and managers are just as busy as you are. And even the best managers might get overwhelmed with their own duties at times and forget to go the extra mile. Keep context in mind. The appreciation you do receive, even if it’s not what you personally would like, might be well within the norm for the organization.

Indeed also adds to reframe your mindset and look for other signs that you’re being valued. If a manager assigns you to lead a project, that’s a sign of trust, even if that isn’t explicitly stated.

Talk to your boss

Once you’ve evaluated your mindset, it’s time to take action. Perhaps the most direct route is to talk to the person you’d like to feel more appreciation from—your boss. A direct conversation is the best way to air your grievances, but you need to approach the conversation carefully.

Don’t go into the meeting swinging or you’ll risk putting your boss on the defensive, according to Harvey Deutschendorf. Rather than saying you feel underappreciated, say that sometimes you feel your work goes unnoticed. Highlight the things you’ve accomplished and the work of your team and ask for feedback. By focusing on results and uplifting your team members, you’ll appear more genuine and you may receive valuable feedback.

“Let them know that you’d like more feedback moving forward. Also, come prepared with a list of your most recent achievements. That way, you remind your manager about your great work while helping build self-confidence.” –Caroline Castrillon, Forbes

Look to your coworkers

Does it seem like you’re the only one being underappreciated or are your coworkers in a similar boat? Observe how your other coworkers are treated, and you may learn some valuable insights.

If your company culture lacks appreciation or gratitude, become a source of it. Forbes’ Caroline Castrillon says that even simple gestures like a thank you note or recognizing someone’s accomplishments at a staff meeting can start building a culture of appreciation. Once showing appreciation becomes a norm, you’ll quickly find it being reciprocated in your direction.

“One surefire way to get your own work noticed is, “paradoxically,” to “praise and appreciate others.”” –Annie McKee, author

Validate yourself

While it’s nice to feel appreciated by your peers, don’t forget the person whose opinion matters most—your own! Finding ways to celebrate your own accomplishments and validate what you’ve done will make things better, and the confidence it brings will benefit you even further.

Writing down and quantifying your accomplishments has the dual value of giving you talking points with your bosses when looking for validation as well as building confidence, writes Jessica Dowches-Wheeler. You aren’t just patting yourself on the back, you’re providing tangible talking points to increase your visibility and get the feedback you desire.

Caroline Castrillon adds that self-motivation is one of the most powerful driving forces we can have. By finding meaning in your work and finding ways to reward yourself, you’ll feel much better even if you aren’t getting the external praise you deserve.

Consider a change

If you’ve adjusted your mindset and taken appropriate action and you’re still feeling undervalued, perhaps it’s time for a change. Your mental health is important, and a good cultural fit with an organization matters.

Sometimes a workplace or a manager is just flat-out toxic. It may be challenging to find a better situation, but that’s what you’ll need to decide. If you do choose to move on, Indeed recommends asking about the relationship between workers and management and about how feedback is delivered in your future interviews.

Wrap up

Don’t be afraid to utilize the resources available to you in order to regain a sense of appreciation. By adjusting your mindset, looking to others for help making changes, and recognizing your own value, you can turn your situation around. Only you can decide whether it’s a situation worth fixing or if it’s time to move on.

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