How To Politely Say “No” At Work

Saying “no” at work isn’t always easy, especially if you’re a people pleaser. But sometimes, we must decline, whether it’s thanks to a full workload, a lack of resources, or because a task is simply unfeasible.

But just as learning to say “no” can be a challenge, learning the right way to say “no” is just as laborious. Coming off too strongly will hurt your interpersonal relationships while being unclear will make others uncertain you actually declined something. Learn to take charge and clearly but politely say “no” by adhering to these reminders.

““No, that idea sucks,” is quite different from, “No, I’d like to take a different approach.”” –Sara McCord, The Muse

Listen first

Even if you know right away you aren’t going to be able to help someone, make sure not to rudely interrupt with a dismissive “no.” Your respect for your boundaries is good, but you can decline in the right way after listening to what someone needs.

The Muse’s Sara McCord says that even when you know an idea is unfeasible or unpopular to let whoever is asking for help finish speaking before going further. The speaker may think you just don’t get it or think you’re being rude if you cut them off early. By listening to their full explanation, you can pick up on their needs. Even if you can’t meet those needs, you might be able to point them in a helpful direction while still respecting your boundaries.

Stay polite

If someone asks you for something and you respond with a quick “nah” it won’t be well received. Especially if your boss is the one asking you. There’s a balance to be struck with being clear but not being a jerk about it.

Asana’s Alicia Raeburn suggests starting by leading with something positive. Don’t go straight to the “no”—open up with a “Thank you” or “You’re so good at thinking of these opportunities” to let the asker know you appreciate them coming to you. You may have been the first person they asked because they trust you or you’re particularly skilled with something. Even if you can’t help this time, being polite about your decline will keep the interpersonal respect alive.

Offering to help in the future is another way to politely respond without shutting someone down. Maybe the timing is just bad right now or maybe you have too much on your plate. If they feel they can ask you again in the future, they’ll take that “no” even more positively.

“Unfortunately, I have too much to do today. I can help you another time.” –Indeed

Be honest

If you really don’t want to do something, a common first instinct is to make up an excuse of sorts. It might feel like without a great reason, your “no” will be poorly received. But honesty is the best policy.

Forbes’ Ashira Prossack reminds us that being honest doesn’t mean explaining every single detail, however. If you have a task or appointment that would conflict with helping someone, you can just say you have a conflict and give a brief explanation. While you might feel bad declining to help someone, you also don’t owe them every single detail. In fact, the more details you provide, the more it may seem like you’re making up an excuse.

Be clear and firm

While the above tips are good for framing your rejection, make sure at some point you actually include the word “no.” Your response might otherwise seem so polite and professional that it seems like you’re agreeing despite your other commitments.

Indeed says to be consistent and firm with your “nos.” If you open with “no but eventually change your mind, people will think they can always get you to do what they want by constantly asking. Staying firm on your “no,” especially by doing it politely, will help the “no” stick.

Clockify’s Dunja Jovanovic says that you can reinforce your “no” assertively by combining it with the right body language. Shaking your head, crossing your arms, and sitting back are all signs of dismissal. If your words are polite but your tone and stance is firm, the asker will get the message without you coming across rudely.

Practice

For some of us, the idea of saying “no” in general is difficult enough. When we’re put on the spot and don’t want to disappoint someone, it’s easy to default to saying “yes,” even when it’s the wrong call. By keeping the above points in mind and practicing, however, we can stop ourselves from auto-agreeing.

“Sometimes when we are blindsided, things come out the wrong way. Therefore, practicing how to say “no” will prepare you for those times that your bandwidth is stretched to its max.” –Fellow

Wrap up

Saying “no” when needed will prevent burnout while setting healthy boundaries. The key to declining someone at work is to do it in the right way. Rethink that saying “no” means in the first place. It isn’t an attack on the person asking. You’ll often have good reasons to say “no,” and someone else may be able to help. Politely getting through the “no” is much easier if you hear the other person out and kindly but firmly explain why you can’t help.

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Body Language Tips For Virtual Meetings

Being self-aware of your body language is crucial in your communication efforts, even if you’re operating remotely. Nonverbal clues are just as significant in communication as your words and can help convey your message.

You’ll build better workplace relationships and find better success in business if you can express yourself nonverbally. Make sure you’re using your body to advantage in your virtual communication efforts by adhering to these tried-and-true strategies.

Eye contact

One of the easiest ways to appear engaged as an active listener in your efforts is to make eye contact with your peers. The eyes are a window into a person, and good eye contact allows you to form a lasting impression.

“On the other hand, failing to make eye contact can signal disinterest, dishonesty, or lack of confidence.” –Lolly Daskal

In a digital setting, you’ll need to balance the shifting perspective when other people talk and take center stage. Forbes’ Bianca Miller Cole writes to balance looking right at the speaking with looking directly into your camera so others can make eye contact with you. This may take some practice, but it’s philosophically the same idea as looking between different people in the room in a physical setting.

Facial expressions

Don’t put all the burden of effort on your eyes, though. You must utilize your facial expressions properly to sell your body language as well.

Leadership expert Lolly Daskal warns that inconsistent facial expressions can undermine what you’re saying, create distrust, or generate confusion. If you’re talking about a great sales plan, for example, and you’re frowning or shaking your head, it’ll make that plan sound not so great. Make sure to be aware of your expressions and make sure they match the tone of what you’re saying.

Also, make sure to smile when appropriate! It’ll add some friendliness and warmth against the cold backdrop of technology.

Posture

Make sure your physical form is making the same effort as your face is. Even if someone can’t see your entire form on camera, there’s plenty on screen for someone to see your posture. Good posture is a cornerstone of good body language.

Even while seated, your posture makes a world of difference. LinkedIn says you can present an air of professionalism and interest by keeping your shoulders back, your back straight, and your arms slightly out. Leaning forward also shows interest in the speaker while leaning back does the opposite. Avoid slumped shoulders and crossing your arms. While in some settings this might make you feel approachable and casual, in meetings it will make you appear distant and disinterested.

“Tilting your head is a natural response during conversations. It often indicates that a person is listening intently and thinking about your message.” –Indeed

Hand gestures

In a virtual setting, your hands might be out of view for most of the meeting. But don’t be afraid to bring them on screen in the right manner to enunciate your message!

Indeed says good hand usage can make or break your message, especially during interviews. When you aren’t speaking, it’s a good idea to keep your hands on your lap or at your side. But when speaking, don’t be shy about bringing them up to express excitement or gesture meaningfully. Just make sure not to cover your face on camera.

“Having your hands open is a sign of transparency and honesty, while it is essential to remember that pointing or crossing your arms can look aggressive to some.” –i3-Technologies

Framing

One major challenge you’ll face remotely is in framing your face within the camera. It’s hard to express body language if your body isn’t framed visibly on the screen. Finding the right distance to show enough of you without being too much of a close-up or having you three rooms away is the challenge.

Communication aficionado Jelena Fisic says the sweet spot is to have your entire head, shoulders, and the top of your torso on screen. Having just your head in view limits your body language arsenal. You want enough space to be able to bring your hands into play.

Avoid distractions

In a physical setting, meetings are usually conducted in a separate room to minimize distractions, but you won’t have that luxury remotely. Remote work is nice because it allows you to easily multitask, but visibly multitasking in a meeting is bad form.

Fellow’s Hannah Ross says that while you might think you’re being discrete, it isn’t hard for a viewer to track your eyes and see that you’re focused elsewhere. This will not only make you appear disinterested but it is disrespectful to whoever is speaking.

In order to also not be a distraction for others, Ross recommends picking an uncluttered background.

Wrap up

By being aware of the vibe you’re giving off with your body during virtual meetings, you can practice intentionality to make your message more effective. Following the aforementioned tips will make you appear more engaged, more persuasive, and more likely to form good business relationships in your next virtual meeting or interview.

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Becoming More Persuasive At Work

Being an effective communicator is one of the core keys to success in life and often starts with how persuasive you can be. You might have the most outstanding ideas imaginable, but they’ll go unnoticed if you can’t get others interested.

Becoming more persuasive will open many doors in your career. Whether you’re trying to land a new job, make a big sale, inspire your team, or start a new project, being able to convince others that you and your ideas have merit will lead to success. If you want to become more convincing at work, start incorporating these ideas into your efforts.

Find a framing device

Your storytelling efforts will always be better with preparation and care. Even if you have a wonderful idea, if it’s crammed into a meandering story with lots of pointless fluff, it’ll go unnoticed. Knowing how to frame your argument is crucial to persuade others.

Great Learning’s Tanuja Bahirat writes that a good framing has three core components: placement (the right time, place, and audience), approach (how you present your argument), and words (the right words for your audience). This will help you build the outline for your argument.

For an example of an effective framing device, consider the STAR method. This method is commonly used to answer interview questions by taking a situation, task, action, and results focus to quickly share a story and express your value.

Establish credibility

In any persuasive effort, the more credible and trustworthy you appear, the more naturally persuasive you’ll appear. It makes sense that an expert in a field would have more clout than someone who doesn’t know the material well.

“To be believable, we must be credible. To be credible, we must be truthful.” –Edward R. Murrow, journalist

Building up your knowledge on the topic and developing a reputation in your niche go a long way toward convincing others. Maria Thimothy of OneIMS says that if you’re viewed as an expert, your efforts will be less viewed as an attempt to persuade and more of an attempt to educate.

Journalist Edward R. Murrow suggests backing up any arguments you make with concrete facts and avoiding pushing a personal narrative.

Focus on goals

Whatever argument you’re trying to make is likely based on some personal narrative, of course. You wouldn’t be trying to persuade someone if the topic wasn’t important to you. But phrasing something in terms of your needs won’t win you any supporters. You want to bring value to your audience, so focus on their needs.

“The values that emerge consistently from discussions with your colleagues give you insights into the criteria they use for deciding how to channel their effort.” –Art Markman, Fast Company

Enhance’s Jess Coles says to start by putting yourself in your audience’s shoes before answering what they can gain from whatever you’re offering. Have a good idea of what your audience needs rather than basing your argument on baseless assumptions. Your job is to help them achieve their goals and fulfill their needs. By thinking in terms of those needs, you can offer a solution, which will make your eventual call to action much more impactful.

Consider the opposing viewpoint

There will always be opposition to your persuasive efforts. Otherwise, you wouldn’t need to persuade someone! Even if you have a solid argument, people have opposing values, other appealing options, or won’t be convinced something is a big problem. Sometimes, they might agree with you but think an answer might not be worth the resources or effort.

Think of what these opposing arguments might be and come up with counterpoints before those opposing points can be raised by the audience. Not only will you be able to throw in a few more persuasive arguments but it’ll show that you understand the topic and the audience’s concerns, increasing credibility.

Be confident

Above all else, there isn’t anything quite as persuasive as expressing your case with a sense of calm confidence. If you truly believe in your argument and have prepared accordingly, it can smooth over any other bumps in your attempt. People aren’t likely going to resonate with someone who doesn’t appear confident—just make sure that confidence doesn’t bleed into arrogance.

“Confidence is like the sriracha sauce of conversation, making everything it touches infinitely more appealing. But how do we convey it?” –Eric Barker

Eric Barker says to cut out hedging words and filler words as a starting point. Hedging words like “maybe” and “kind of” make your argument less persuasive while “ums” and “likes” can make you appear nervous or unprepared.

Dwell With Dignity’s Ashley Sharp says confidence comes from passion, which is built on a foundation of credibility and knowledge. Your audience may not remember every concrete fact you present, but they’ll remember how you presented them.

Wrap up

Hopefully, this article persuaded you on the importance of having good persuasive skills. There will be countless times in your career when you need to convince someone to do something. Adding persuasive skills to your storytelling repertoire will have amazing benefits in the long run!

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LinkedIn Connections To Avoid

Networking is the best way to expand your career, and LinkedIn is one of the best tools at your disposal. But there’s more to successful networking than a huge number of connections. In fact, there are many types of unfamiliar connections you should avoid on the platform.

Remember, quality is more important than quantity in your networking efforts. Make sure you’re cultivating a meaningful community by avoiding these types of questionable connections.

The mysterious user

A mysterious unfamiliar character walking boldly into your life might be cool in a Western film, but on LinkedIn, it’s far less appealing. If you receive a connection request with no headshot, it’s a huge red flag.

“It begs the questions: Is this a real person? Is this some kind of scam or phishing expedition? Are they hiding something? In terms of perception, putting your pic on your profile is similar to signing your name to a legal document.” –William Arruda, Forbes

LinkedIn is a social media platform, and it isn’t uncommon for other platforms to be filled with anonymous or parody accounts. But LinkedIn is for making professional connections, and if someone can’t put their face on their profile, it just looks shady. Make sure your own profile has a clear, professional headshot!

The minimalist

Similarly, a LinkedIn profile stingy with personal information isn’t someone I want to connect with. LinkedIn has numerous features that can help you stand out from the crowd, and even simply having a well-developed “About Me” section can put you streets ahead of others on the platform.

While Forbes’ William Arruda says that while being able to use as few words as possible to explain your accomplishments is impressive, you need to make some sort of effort filling each section out. A person with minimal information sending requests your way can’t be counted on to offer anything of value if they couldn’t even be bothered to make a complete profile. In addition, a profile littered with typos and bad grammar is worth avoiding for the same reasons.

The company roleplayer

Roleplaying can be great in the right context. Dungeons and Dragons is one of the world’s most popular activities after all! But roleplaying on LinkedIn is a common and unfortunate red flag.

LinkedIn’s Rafael Magaña says that often salespeople will create profiles simply to push their company’s services—not foster a human connection. These profiles will often use the company’s logo as their photo and have overly “salesy” taglines. Unless you’re looking to be sold to, stay away from these profiles!

Overly aggressive sellers

Some LinkedIn sales merchants can be a little more subtle than the company roleplayers, but that facade won’t last long.

Inc’s Chris Ronzio says that some will be blatantly obvious. They’ll send a copy-and-pasted bio or selling attempt in their connection message. Others will wait for you to accept their connection before spamming their selling point.

“It is the digital equivalent of the flyers I find on my car’s windshield or the supermarket coupons that I can’t seem to rid from my mailbox. I didn’t ask for this. Mark as spam.” – Chris Ronzio

If you see generic, sleazy texts like “Make money while you sleep” or “Double your revenue,” quickly ignore, block, or report these accounts, says Rafael Magaña.

Thirsty connections

Some connections will appear “thirsty” in less obvious ways. They clearly want something from you and aren’t afraid to be aggressive, but it isn’t always clear what exactly they want.

Chris Ronzio uses people desperate to get you on the phone as a good example. They’ll want to schedule a quick call to get to know you but won’t offer much more than that. Most people aren’t willing to take phone calls from strangers, let alone shady anonymous connections from the internet.

William Arruda points to people pretending to make a personal connection as another example. These scammers will often use bots to gather information from your profile to make it seem like they care about your work before dropping their hard sell.

Finally, watch out for more literal thirsty connections—bozos who try to use LinkedIn as a dating site.

Scammers

Some of these connections are simply misguided about how LinkedIn connections and good networking etiquette work, but many are actively trying to scam or harm you in some way. The internet is a beautiful and powerful tool, but as long as it has existed, ne’er-do-wells have always found ways to use technology to scam the uninformed.

Aura’s Alina Benny points to phishing scams, catfishing scams, crypto and investment scams, employment scams, and tech support scams as just a few of the common ways scammers will try to get your information. Each one has its own nuance, and it takes practice to identify a scam. Generally, if something sounds too good to be too, it usually is. Read Alina’s piece for more detailed information on each type of scam and how to avoid it.

Wrap up

Networking should be a mutually beneficial arrangement. We’ve discussed in various articles how to sell yourself as having value to offer potential partners. But a connection should bring value to you as well, and the above connections rarely do. Whether it’s someone trying to increase their own clout, attempting spray-and-pray techniques, trying hard to push an agenda, or straight up stealing something from you, these types of connections are best left on read.

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Managing Expectations At Work

We all know work isn’t always a great time. Whether it’s a toxic environment or simply being in the wrong role, sometimes a workplace is a bad fit. But it isn’t always outside factors to blame. Sometimes, the biggest culprit is our own expectations.

Not every job is a dream job, but you can make moves toward creating a better environment. Cultivating the right mindset and taking necessary steps are the key to setting the right expectations at work and can create a better environment for your mental health. If you’re looking to better manage your mindset at work, take the following advice to heart.

“Managing expectations at work involve understanding company culture and how best to create healthy boundaries that guide your association with your colleagues, leadership, and management.” –Andrew Langat, Highrise

Look for mutual goals

You may want a super high-paying job working toward exactly whatever your dream goal is, but that’s often unrealistic. We all have to make compromises in our work life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find some meaning in your job. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, find a way to focus on mutual goals with your organization.

Checkr states that the most engaged workers are the most productive and happy. While a good organization will find ways to reinforce the company’s culture and goals, you may need to find ways to connect with that message on your own. Find something about your work you can take pride in and try to focus on that.

Learn to communicate

One of the problems with expectations is that your expectations may vary differently from those of your co-workers or your managers, becoming a source of frustration and burnout. In order to avoid this, we must become better communicators to build an effective relationship based on respect and understanding.

“By introducing your expectations in the beginning stages of a professional relationship, you can help establish consistent guidelines.” –Indeed

Valerie Cantella says to not be afraid to overcommunicate. The more willing you are to open a dialogue, the easier it will be to find out what is and isn’t working. Valerie says to keep things SMART—specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. Remember to keep your desires realistic and be open to similar feedback from others.

“Here’s a tip: To REDUCE conflict when communicating with others, you need to communicate in their style, not yours. The more you understand how YOU navigate change and conflict, the easier it is to understand and adapt your behavior.” –Kathy Marcino

Be flexible

Some of us like to set clear goals and expectations for ourselves while others prefer to keep things fluid. Neither style is better than the other, but in both cases, flexibility is key. It’s good to be goal-driven, but being too rigid in your expectations can lead to unhappiness.

Checkr reminds us that there are different generations raised on different work priorities and that even where we work is a flexible matter. With so many variables, everyone has different needs and expectations. It’s important to remind yourself of this and to be flexible.

But set boundaries

But being flexible doesn’t mean being a pushover or only catering to others’ needs. Setting healthy boundaries at work is a good way to reduce stress and keep others’ expectations from overpowering your own.

If someone else’s expectations seem too high, you can always say no, reminds Emily May of Niagara Institute. Agreeing to too much can lead to burnout and resentment. Setting reasonable boundaries is never a bad thing, even if the prospect seems difficult. If saying no feels daunting, you can always ask clarifying questions or say that you’ll reevaluate once you finish other tasks on your plate.

Learn not to take things personally

A final reminder is not to take any setbacks or conflicts personally. You may feel that you’ve earned the right to lead a big project or land a big promotion but got passed over. It’s easy to get frustrated and let the experience cloud your expectations, but these things aren’t always personal. It’s good to be ambitious, but assuming everything will go your way or that you’ll soar up the corporate ladder is a good way to find yourself disappointed. Stay hungry, but recognize when your expectations are too high or unrealistic.

Wrap up

We can get wrapped up in our day-to-day work lives too much sometimes, but it is valuable to take some time to reflect on your expectations. Is your mindset toward your job healthy and realistic? Have you communicated with others in a respectful way so that your expectations are clear? Ask yourself these questions and follow the above advice and see if it can help you realign.

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