Coexisting With A Coworker You Dislike
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Career

  • Matt Hendershott
  • Culture, Mental Health, Stress
  • April 13, 2022

Coexisting With A Coworker You Dislike

Sometimes, having the right coworkers can make a job you dislike more tolerable. But the opposite is also true; a coworker you dislike can make your job unpleasant.

While many workers are able to work remotely, limiting direct face-to-face interactions with these workplace nemeses, those in the office don’t have that luxury. Even remotely, you’ll still have some interactions with these disdained coworkers. Regardless, you need to learn to work with others you may not enjoy.

We’ve previously covered how to successfully navigate workplace conflict and why a positive team culture is so important. We’ll build on that foundation, with assistance from the experts, with strategies on how to coexist with your least favorite coworkers. You likely won’t become best friends, but you’ll find common ground and be able to work together in spite of your differences.

Could it be you?

The first step in finding common ground is asking yourself why this individual irks you. With some soul-searching, you may realize that both of you are at fault.

Forbes’ Nicole Lipkin discusses affirmation bias, the tendency to blame your own shortcomings on external factors while blaming the shortcomings of others on their personal character.

“[L]et’s say you’re late to work. The attribution bias would have you exonerate your own lateness by claiming there was heavy traffic. But if someone else is late to work though, they’re obviously lazy.” –Nicole Lipkin

You may be projecting this bias on your workplace antagonist solely because you dislike them. By always thinking the worst of this person, you build them up as a bigger villain in your mind. You may also be projecting attributes you dislike about yourself onto this person, writes Lolly Daskal. Analyzing your mindset and figuring out why you dislike this person is the first step towards understanding.

Try to get to know them

Easier said than done, right? But finding common ground with someone is the key to resolving conflict. Iris Dorbian spoke to various actors, who must project chemistry with one another to the audience even when they dislike each other, and found multiple strategies you can use to co-exist with your foe.

Start by asking your coworker simple questions to get to know them. It doesn’t have to be deep; small talk about hobbies, interests, and daily routine is enough.

“I’m trying to give this person the impression that I actually give a damn about their day-to-day existence. The funny thing is, you’ll usually find that eventually, you do form chemistry because the person on the receiving end is amazed that anyone asked them questions about their life, work, or hobbies.” -actor Gino Dilorio

“Fake it til you make it” is a popular strategy in many of life’s facets, and it applies here, as well. Be enthusiastic about what your coworker tells you, even if you don’t feel it on the inside. Keeping a positive attitude will not only be good for your relationship with this person but it can be wondrous for your mental health.

Understand their point of view

Once you know this person a little better, it will be easier to understand their perspective and get to the root of why you don’t get along. Take your emotions out of the equation and try to view the person objectively.

Are some of their unpleasant traits a result of outside factors? There may be things doing on in their personal life you aren’t privy to. Are they trying to get along with you but struggling to do so? Or do you just have incompatible values or personalities? These questions are much easier to answer after you’ve made an attempt to get to know the person.

Set boundaries

Maybe you’ve put in the time to get to know your antagonist but still can’t find common ground. It happens. Not all people will get along. But to better coexist, you need to set boundaries with this person.

If the person keeps exhibiting disrespectful behaviors in your direction, sit down with the person and explain these behaviors are unacceptable. Ivy Exec reminds us not to let anger build up and color the interaction. Calmly tell them their behavior is unacceptable and they need to work with you in a professional manner.

Meanwhile, set boundaries on your own behavior. Don’t behave antagonistically towards them, and don’t engage in gossip regarding the other person. Stay professional.

Acknowledge your dislike and minimize contact

If all else fails, up upfront with the person. Lipkin says to have a simple conversation with your coworker: “We’re not getting along that great, what can we do? Let’s try to brainstorm what’s getting in our way.”

If you can find a way to work together, great. If not, you did your part. Continue to work within the boundaries you set, and reduce contact as much as possible. Don’t do anything to fan the flames, and do your best to remain professional. You don’t have to like your colleague, but you do need to work together.

“If volcanoes erupt every time you meet, then it might be best to, instead, keep things professional at a distance.” –Andy Charters

Wrap up

You won’t get along with everyone you meet, but if you’re working with someone you dislike, it’s important to at least make an effort to coexist. Try to find common ground and settle your differences in a professional matter. If all else fails, consider coexistence and acceptance a victory, and do your best to at least work together when needed.

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  • Matt Hendershott
  • Career Advice, Career Growth, Confidence, Job Search Tips
  • January 26, 2022

The Most Sought-After Skills To Develop In 2022

Self-growth is the key to career success no matter what industry you work in. Many businesses offer continuing education to aid their employees in this growth, whether through seminars, training programs, or even education assistance. But if you really want to succeed in your career journey, you need to take the initiative and develop necessary skills on your own time.

But what skills will give you the most “bang for your buck” in terms of relevancy and versatility? Erika Andersen of Harvard Business Review wrote that the best skills are at the intersection of organizational needs and personal satisfaction.

“Given all the ways in which organizations and jobs are changing, figuring out which new skills to develop and when to develop them can be hard. The key is to focus on skills that will propel your organization forward, that play to your strengths, and that you feel passionate about learning.”- Erika Andersen

The pandemic changed the professional world at all levels, and new needs must be accounted for. Regardless of industry, certain soft skills are more important than ever. We’ve looked to various experts and found these soft skills to be the most desired in this new age.

Communication

Communication often comes up as a buzzword, but it is a tricky skill set to develop. Communication covers a wide array of skills, including active listening, public speaking, writing ability, observing, empathy, and providing feedback. So many other soft skills require a foundation based on strong communication skills, making this a great place to start.

Forbes’ William Arruda reminds us that employees are people first. Employees face their own private challenges, and those are even more magnified in today’s troubled times. Knowing how to open a transparent and encouraging dialogue is crucial in connecting with your team, and good communication skills increase morale, productivity, and focus. Good leadership is first built on good communication.

In addition, the remote landscape has changed where communication takes place altogether. With less opportunity for in-person conversation and meetings, leveling up your written communication skills is crucial. ApplyBoard reminds us to use technology to check-in and keep the dialogue going.

“Whether it’s a quick Slack message, an engineering blueprint, or a formal whitepaper, new grads who can communicate key messages clearly and convincingly will see their team thrive.” –ApplyBoard

Problem-solving

Tying back to remote work, working out of the office means you won’t have immediate access to support staff or a direct connection to managers. You’ll often be left to your own devices, paving a need to develop independent problem-solving skills.

In their top-five most in-demand skills for 2022, Star Outico has problem-solving skills as the most frequent subcategory. Four of their top five skills fall under this category, including:

•Analytical thinking and innovation

•Complex problem-solving

•Critical thinking and analysis

•Creativity, originality, and initiative

IT Resources highlights how desirable these traits are to employers, who want well-rounded employees capable of going beyond their job description.

“Employers prefer hiring candidates who show no fear of taking on a challenge. Therefore, when answering questions in your interview, describe how you solved problems. Hiring managers look for innovative solutions rather than a no-brainer.” –IT Resources

Adaptability

The pandemic has thrown a lot at all of us, and the ability to adapt has been necessary at all levels. In terms of our professional lives, adaptability is one of the most sought-after skills by employers. A stable 9-to-5 at the office is a rarity anymore, so those who can thrive in the face of chaos and come out on top are the priority candidates in any industry.

“Whether an employee needs to alter their workload as the business re-staffs or expands, or if the location of their job changes, being adaptable is always an asset. This shows employees that you are willing to roll with the punches to achieve success.” – Michael Page

ApplyBoard deduces adaptability also means being able to cope with not only your own evolving challenges but those of your team as well. Keeping a cool head and being accepting of others’ needs fall under the adaptability umbrella.

Time management

Part of adaptability is knowing how to prioritize your time. With less overhead while working from home, you need to be a master of self-management and time management.

Understanding the needs of your organization and how to prioritize those needs is directly tied to your success. If you have five tasks you need to complete, how do you know which to tackle first? And how do you balance these tasks without becoming overwhelmed?

GrowthSpace’s Sarah Vonnegut discusses the myriad of ways to develop this particular skill, including using software packages, practicing psychological methodologies, or creating simple routines that help.

Wrap up

It always pays to sharpen your skills but choosing what skills to master can often be overwhelming. In the pandemic landscape, soft skills like communication, problem-solving, adaptability, and time management are more important than ever, thanks to new challenges emerging every day. These skills are extremely versatile and can help advance or start your career no matter what field you’re in.

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  • Matt Hendershott
  • Career Advice, Career Change, Career Growth, Culture, Data & Trends, Job Search Tips, Mental Health, Networking
  • November 23, 2021

Making A Career Change During The Holiday Season

For many, the winter holiday season is a time of reflection and contemplation. Regardless of which individual holidays you celebrate, there is a common theme of togetherness and gratitude that make it easy to get into this contemplative mindset.

As a result, many put together New Year’s resolutions of goals to accomplish or things to change about themselves, and these resolutions are often work-related. Maybe taking an extended time away from the day-to-day of your job provides a different viewpoint when the holidays end. Maybe talking to family and friends during gatherings gives you new ideas or allows you to refocus on what’s important in your life.

Whatever the reason, holidays are a perfect time to take stock of your life. Because of this, many find themselves looking for a career change. Searching for a new career during the holidays can already be a difficult but rewarding challenge, as we discussed recently. Yet in this post-pandemic world, more individuals are reassessing their careers than ever before, and the holidays can actually be a smart time to start working on a career change.

A desire to change careers is normal

Planning a career change can be scary no matter what time of year it takes place, but know what you’re not the only one considering it. According to Washington Post’s Heather Long and Scott Clement, almost one-third of workers under 40 considered a career change during the pandemic.

“Many people told The Post that the pandemic altered how they think about what is important in life and their careers. It has given them a heightened understanding that life is short and that now is the time to make the changes they have long dreamed of. The result is a great reassessment of work, as Americans fundamentally reimagine their relationships to their jobs.” -Heather Long and Scott Clement.

The pandemic forced many layoffs and career changes, and time away from the office made people reflect on the work itself according to Yale School of Management’s Amy Wrzesniewski (reported by MarketPlace.org’s Kristin Schwab).

“It shakes people up. It makes them really think about how they’re spending their time, who they’re spending it with, what they’re spending it doing. What seemed tolerable before may not seem tolerable anymore. It may seem very different.” -Amy Wrzesniewski

While the holiday season is a much different source of reflection, the downtime can lead to the same conclusions about one’s career. If your reflections do lead you to the idea of a career change, Northeastern University has a helpful list of signs it may be time to take that leap. They provide a detailed guide on how to assess your career situation and what changes can be made.

Meanwhile, hcareers.com’s Deb Ward recommends making a personal development plan this holiday season while providing additional questions to reflect on.

Why the holidays?

Maybe you’re thinking, “It IS time for a career change, but shouldn’t I wait until the new year?” In our previous holiday job search article, we suggested that while there are challenges to looking for a new job in late November and December, jobs are still out there, and there are a plethora of ways to take advantage of the holiday season.

The lack of competition is one of the mightiest boons of the holiday season, especially if you’re switching to a new industry. A common myth is no one is hiring during the holidays, which leads to a lack of applicants. This can be used to your advantage!

The holidays also provide perhaps more networking opportunities than any other time of the year. Professional and personal office parties provide a chance to mingle and gather information. Holiday cards are a great way to stay in touch with contacts in a personal manner.

Camden Kelly’s Carly Weiner offers even more advantages to a holiday job search. Companies oft have ‘use it or lose it’ budgets at the end of the year. For HR managers, the best way to make sure they don’t lose it is to hire someone before the new year. You may not start your position until January, but you’ll be in the books and ready to go.

It’s also easier to take some time off for any potential interviews if you’re still at your current job, Weiner writes. It’s common for employees to take more time off in December for holiday commitments, and that can make it easier to fit some searching and interviews into your routine.

Ultimately, if you’re set on a career change, there are zero reasons to put it off until January, writes Forbes’ Jack Kelly. Amid this time of uncertainty, many people search for a career to make them feel fulfilled but slow down during the holidays when they should be ramping up instead, Kelly believes.

“Since we are in a new type of world where everything seems possible, why not start on improving your work life right now? View today as the start of the new year and work life. It’s your chance to get ahead of the crowd, as most people put off their job searches during the holiday season and resume it again in the first few weeks of the new year.” -Jack Kelly

Wrap up

Take some time to really contemplate where you’re at in your professional life this holiday season. If you find that part of life wanting, know that you aren’t alone. More workers are considering career changes than ever before. The holiday season may not be the easiest time to find a new job, but it offers some perks no other time of year has. If you’re really invested in a career change, there’s no time like the present. ‘New Year, New Me’ your way into a new career by using this time to your advantage.

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  • Matt Hendershott
  • Career Advice, Career Growth, Job Search Tips, Resumes
  • November 3, 2021

Writing Pitfalls To Avoid On Your Resume

You’re writing your resume, and you’d like to make your accomplishments stand out. You think to yourself, “How can I spice this up and get the manager’s attention?” You think of some of your favorite workplace-related films and the cool business lingo you’ve heard the actors throw around. You decide to call yourself a ‘rockstar’ at sales.

The hiring manager sees this, sighs, and moves on.

Just as there are words that can help you stand out or get through resume processing tools, there are plenty of words that might seem clever but actually hurt your first impression. Resume.com believes that not only can an employer learn about your skills and qualifications but also your communication skills and personality.

The experts at Indeed, Glassdoor, and Monster each have their list of words to avoid on your resume. We combine these into three categories of pitfalls to avoid before your next job search.

1. Overused buzzwords

We’ve all seen movies like The Wolf of Wall Street and Glengarry Glen Ross where we see actors playing suave businesspeople comfortably dropping impressive-sounding jargon and we want to emulate. Maybe you believe that your thought leadership created an ecosystem of synergy, causing everyone to buy-in. Perhaps we’ll get off on the next exit and discuss these findings at the next junction. But for most managers, buzzwords like these are overused and mostly used for padding.

In a compilation of most hated resume words by AvidCareerist’s Donna Svei, the buzzword “dynamic” made the list. Polled career advisor Bob McIntosh had this to say on the word,

“Your resume and interview presence should give a “dynamic” meta-message. If they don’t, using “dynamic” on your resume won’t get you an interview or a job offer.”

A common mistake is trying to make an entry-level job sound much more exciting than it actually was by throwing out jargon and synonyms, but a skilled hiring manager knows all the tricks. It’s much better to be clear, concise, and direct.

2. Telling instead of showing

The above words can be all sizzle, no steak, and fall into our second pitfall: telling instead of showing. Monster uses the phrase ‘hardworking’ as an example. Anyone can say they are a hard worker, and most organizations would like to assume every candidate they consider is willing to work hard.

Instead of saying it, use your resume to show how much of a hard worker you can be. Use examples and numerical data to back up your claim. What hard work have you done in your career, and how can you show it to the organization? ‘Detail-oriented’ is another common case. It’s a trait employers want every candidate to have, and it will make every mistake you make in the process more glaring.

Other common words and phrases falling into this pitfall include ‘accomplished’, ‘people-person’, ‘team-player, and ‘expert’. You want to avoid cliches whenever possible, but if you’re ever in a situation where you feel like there is no better way to express your point, make sure to back up your point with clear, expressive examples. Almost every career option will need to work with other individuals; don’t call yourself a team player. Instead, tell the employer how you led a team to increase brand awareness by 13% over the last year, and explain how you did it.

3. Unnecessary information

Hardworking and detail-oriented aren’t the only unnecessary words or phrases that make up a good portion of resumes. Once you’ve finished describing your experience and education, it’s easy to fill up extra blank space with phrases like ‘references available on request’ or ‘salary negotiable.’

These types of statements apply to every candidate and don’t deserve space on your resume. They can also make you look overeager; traditionally, salary discussions shouldn’t happen until later in the hiring process, and not being negotiable would be a strange stance.

In addition, anything resembling an objective summary is unnecessary. The content of your resume should make your skills apparent.

“If your resume is self-explanatory, there’s no need to take up valuable space with anything that’s redundant. Also, if you’re submitting a cover letter with your resume, that should be more than sufficient in addressing your objective for your application,” says Glassdoor writer Caroline Gray.

Wrap up

Just as knowing what to include on a resume is critical, the flip side of the coin is knowing what not to include. Even seemingly harmless buzzwords or small phrases may keep you from getting an interview.

Thankfully, armed with this knowledge, you can make necessary corrections. Use action-oriented verbs and phrases to show off those traits and accomplishments you’re proud of. Show initiative and show that you were the cause of success, not just ‘responsible’ for things. The aforementioned experts above have informative lists of examples of words that do help your resume and can be a great place to start.

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  • Staff
  • Job Search Tips
  • November 26, 2018

Emotional Intelligence: The Key to Athletic and Business Success

A while back, NexGoal asked a simple question over our social media channels: What traits acquired from your athletic career have or will help you in your professional career? The most common answers were persistence, determination, time management, and teamwork. However, one of the most interesting answers we consistently saw through our various channels was the idea of emotional intelligence. Defined, emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you. EI is a term that has been around for a while but hasn’t always been associated with sports. Four-time Olympian Bo Hanson describes EI in sports as such,

“For years we have marveled at how the great athletes are able to “switch themselves on” to create amazing performances with incredible consistency.  We would describe them as being composed, mentally tough, having the right psychology, a great sports mind, emotionally controlled or simply determined or focused. Today we recognize these athletes as having high levels of competency in the area of emotional intelligence.”

Perfecting the mental side of an athlete’s game starts with a thorough understanding of EI. With high EI, traits like persistence, determination, and teamwork become easier to display because the athlete has full control of their emotions and is able to turn those emotions into positive behavior.

So how does the emotional intelligence that you learned in sports transfer to a career outside of sports in the business world? To better understand how, we need to look at the components of EI. According to Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who helped to popularize EI, there are five main components of emotional intelligence:

  1. Self-awareness
  2. Self-regulation
  3. Motivation
  4. Empathy
  5. Social skills

In the following sections I will describe how the 5 components of EI make a difference for an athlete and how an athlete can translate those components to the business world.
http://inboundchurch.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/EQ.jpg

Self-Awareness:

Self-Awareness is the ability of one to understand his or her strengths and weaknesses as well as recognize their emotional state. In sports, self-awareness is essential for success. Coaches always talk about playing within yourself, which essentially means playing to your strengths. To be able to do this an athlete needs to be aware of what they’re good at and recognize their role. By recognizing and accepting their role, an athlete is able to better contribute to a team and allow for another player to pick them up in their weaker areas. The concept of roles also applies in the business world. You should be aware of your role in a company and stick within that role. That doesn’t mean you can’t improve on your weaker areas, but it does mean that you should be the very best in the role you’re assigned. By being the best in your assigned role, you become a valuable asset to your company and put yourself in good position for success.

Recognizing your emotional state in the midst of competition is perhaps one of the hardest things to master in sports. Losing control of emotion can be catastrophic in the heat of competition as it can affect individual and team performance, as well as team morale. That is why it is important in competition to be aware of your feelings quickly. Playing with emotion is fine, but it has to be controlled. Some coaches refer to this as playing on the edge but not over it. Much is the same in the business world. Emotion can be a great motivator in company culture if it is positive. However, negative emotion can be extremely hurtful to employee morale and company culture. If an employee is constantly scared that they might get berated for not doing their job, they will be more cautious in their work which can lead to stagnant creativity as well a high turnover rate for the company. By learning to recognize your emotional state, you can begin to decide when it is appropriate to display certain emotions to get the most out of co-workers or employees.

Self-Regulation:

Once you are able to recognize your emotional states effectively, you have to be able to regulate those same emotions. As Hanson described, in athletics this is the ability of the athlete to stay composed and mentally tough no matter the circumstances. The ups and downs of competition cannot get to an athlete. They need to maintain an equilibrium of emotions that balances both highs and lows if they hope to develop consistency in their craft. This means not dwelling on both failures and successes. What’s important is what you do next. Your emotional state also rubs off on teammates which make your regulation of emotions even more important as it can affect the overall team’s performance.

http://i.imgur.com/v3zIzN3.gif

This same mindset should be carried over into the working world. “Being able to stay composed and have the confidence to talk to high level executives and make presentations is essential to the success of any person in business, especially to those in sales,” says CEO of NexGoal and former NHL player Kevin Dahl. Just like in athletics, the moment should never be too big for you in the corporate world. It is essential to keep your composure in the most high pressure situations. By regulating your emotions, you can keep calm and focus on the task that needs to be accomplished.

Motivation:

If an athlete wants to be the best at their sport, they need to be able to motivate themselves. Self-motivation in sports involves persistence, determination, and focus. An athlete who can motivate himself or herself has clear goals that they want to achieve and will find any means necessary to overcome obstacles that stand in their way to meet these goals. It is their hope that while they drive to meet their goals, their teammates will recognize their efforts and follow their lead. The most motivated athlete is often the best athlete because their passion for their sport will not let them quit and force them to get better.

https://treesflowersbirds.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/1_negative_motivation-21.jpg?w=782&h=626

In the business world, these same traits of motivation can lead you and your company to the top. Setting clear goals for yourself or your company is essential to motivation. To be successful in the business world you need to know where you want to be and then have a plan to get there. Motivation is what will drive you to carry out your plan and allow you to reach your next goal! When looking at how to motivate yourself and others you have to ask yourself if you’re passionate about your job. Passion and dedication are key drivers of motivation and if neither exists, perhaps it’s time to explore a new career. Once you find your passion, it’s just a matter of keeping your eye on the prize and continually finding ways to meet the goals you have set for yourself and others.

Empathy:

An athlete is not always at the top of their game. All athletes have days where things just aren’t clicking. It is important for an athlete to understand this so that they are better able to show empathy to their teammates when they are struggling. To show empathy is to actually put themselves in the shoes of their teammate. A good teammate is one that has a complete understanding of each of his or her teammate’s personalities and is able to quickly diagnose the root of what is causing their poor play. It is then up to the athlete to pick up their teammate and find a solution so that the team can thrive.

good animated GIF

Having the ability empathize in the working world is equally important as it is in athletics. You are not always going to be able to make everyone happy or achieve complete motivation no matter how hard you try. However, you do have the ability to understand why a person may not be happy or motivated by empathizing. Two of the best ways to effectively empathize with someone are active listening and reading body language. Active listening involves providing feedback to the speaker when they are speaking to you. By engaging the speaker with feedback, they are more likely to feel that you care about their problem which can lead to more openness and cooperation. Reading body language is also essential because a co-worker or employee might say one thing but their body language could very well be saying something different. By recognizing different intricacies of body language, you will be able to tell what a person’s emotional state really is and adjust how you speak with them so that you can better use empathy.

Social Skills:

Having good social skills is one of the most important traits an athlete possesses as a teammate. Social skills in an athlete are really a culmination of the first four aspects of EI. To possess effective social skills an athlete must be aware of their emotions and be able to regulate those emotions. An athlete must also be able to motivate his teammates through communication as well empathize when a teammate isn’t playing to their full potential. If an athlete has perfected the first four EI concepts, then they are well on their way of being a master in social skills.

http://www.newmediaandmarketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/relevance14-510x362.jpg

Possessing good social skills in the business world also involves mastering the first four aspects of EI. Communication in the working world is key because saying or typing the wrong thing can have dire consequences. Self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, and empathy all play a role in helping avoid such costly mistakes. Social skills are also important to have when you are trying to convey an idea or persuade someone. Both situations involve strong interpersonal or presentation skills and also a complete understanding of your audience. Having an understanding for your audience is very similar to understanding your teammates. You have to realize each person is different and you should prepare to communicate with them as unique individuals.

Summary:

EI in athletics and the business world go hand in hand. The EI you learned playing a sport can be easily translated to your working profession. Go back and think what made you a good athlete and teammate, and take those same traits and use them in your career. More likely than not, the EI experience you gained in sports will put you far ahead of the competition in the business world.

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About NexGoal

NexGoal is a corporate recruiting firm placing athletes and job seekers with the athlete mindset in their next career.

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