Expressing Gratitude In The Workplace

With Thanksgiving around the corner, gratitude is on everyone’s mind. But it doesn’t need to take a turkey dinner to show your appreciation. A little gratitude goes a long way year round—especially in the workplace!

The National Alliance Of Mental Health (NAMI) of California shared multiple studies showing how expressing and receiving gratitude can improve mood, reduce stress, and build morale. Employees want to feel valued at work, and expressing thanks is a great way to build a culture of value. Whether you’re a manager or simply a team member, expressing gratitude will always have a positive influence on your coworkers. Express your thanks by holding close to these thoughts.

Be specific

A simple “great job!” or “keep up the good work!” may provide a slight boost, but the more specific you can be, the more your expression of gratitude will be taken to heart.

Focusing on a tangible accomplishment will give your thanks more merit and really feel personal. This doesn’t have to be a massive, earth-shattering accomplishment necessarily. SnackNation’s Connor Garret writes to highlight the little things so people know that doing their job well is appreciated. You may even highlight something the person didn’t think was a big deal themselves and really give them a boost!

“Sometimes, the things worth celebrating aren’t even quantifiable. For instance, you could even celebrate a team member who spreads consistent positivity in the workplace.” -Connor Garret

Focus on those not in the spotlight

Not everyone likes to be in the spotlight or gets the chance to be in it. Not every accomplishment is flashy, but everyone keeps the foundation of the organization running. Everyone deserves to feel like a valued member of the team!

Forbes’ Kyle Bailey mentions an award his company created to highlight behind-the-scenes accomplishments. The “NuWarrior” award is given to those who “sustain the backbone of the company” that may not otherwise receive recognition. This assures that those not always in the spotlight have their accomplishments recognized and feel like valued members of the team.

Think of those in your organization that might not always receive the glory. Take time to go out of your way to at least thank them or recognize their efforts, and your appreciation will go a long way.

Express through actions

Awards like Bailey’s “NuWarrior” are an excellent way to show appreciation. Not only did you take time out of your day to thank someone, but you did so in a tangible manner.

Enertia Software CEO Vince Dawkins recommends verbally offering a “thank you” (especially publicly!) but also finding a way to express gratitude in a way beyond words. This could be direct financial compensation or a reward of some kind. But even if you aren’t in a leadership role, you can still offer a little extra by offering assistance, acts of service, or some way to make their job easier, says Herzing University.

“People remember kind words of gratitude, but they also feel respected and extremely appreciated when something more is given to them.” –Kimberly A. Whitler

Employers can offer things like care packages (great for remote team members), awards, gift cards, and shoutouts, but they can also encourage a culture of gratitude, writes Connor Garret. Encouraging your team to regularly express gratitude is an excellent way to show that appreciation starts from the top and that you have a culture of value.

Write handwritten notes

One of the most well-received tokens of appreciation is one of the most old-school and traditional. It’s hard to beat a handwritten letter when it comes to expressing gratitude.

Headsup Corporation cited Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania who studied positive psychological therapies. He found that receiving a hand-written letter of appreciation had a bigger effect on happiness than any other method.

Not only does a written thank you note show appreciation, but the extra effort taken to write out the accomplishment shows, and it gives the recipient a tangible token to look to. And Forbes’ Kimberly A. Whitler suggests that a physical copy won’t get lost in the abyss the way an email might.

“It really shows you care enough to go the extra mile to ensure the recipient feels appreciated.” –Sheldon Yellen, BELFOR Property Restoration

Wrap up

No matter what the season is, there’s never a bad time to express gratitude at work. Expressing and receiving thanks is a great way to build morale and create a positive culture. You don’t have to be a manager to take charge—it’s always good to be recognized by your peers as well! Take time to express sincere thanks, and you’ll be building toward a wonderful work culture.

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Ditch These Phrases To Become More Confident

Whether you’re applying for your first job, branching out into a career change, or you’re an experienced leader, confidence is crucial in establishing yourself in your career. Becoming truly confident in your work life can be a lifelong process, but there are small steps you can take right now to lay the necessary foundation.

By doing something as simple as self-monitoring the language you use on a daily basis, you can avoid phrases that portray a lack of confidence. When you use the right language, not only will you appear confident to others, but you’ll convince yourself as well.

Ladder’s Kaitlyn McInnis, Forbes’ Christine Comaford, Inc’s Marla Tabaka, and CNBC Make It’s Kathy and Ross Petras cited some key phrases to ditch in order to exemplify confidence. We’ll categorize them and highlight a few of the most egregious examples.

Verbal qualifiers

“Almost: “I think I’ve said almost everything about that.”” -Christine Comaford

The core of what you’re saying can express your idea effectively, but a single word or innocuous phrase will take the power away from your message. In the above example, the speaker could have finished strong, but the phrase “I think” and the word “almost” take the wind out of the sails.

Qualifying words like the two above lead to being perceived as a weak leader or speaker. When you use these words, you aren’t owning the statement you’re making, and you’re disconnecting from your feelings, according to Christine Comaford. These words take the authority away from the speaker, making you appear weaker.

Med School Insiders lists adding “Does that make sense?”, “Know what I mean?”, and “I dunno” as other common qualifiers nervous speakers will add to the end of their ideas that express a lack of confidence.

Simply removing the qualifiers keeps the core of your message intact while making it appear stronger. Marla Tabaka provides the following:

“I just feel like this is an important problem for us to explore.” vs. “This is an important problem for us to explore.”

Which sounds more confident to you?

Being indirect or cliched

“I just wanted to check in…” – Kaitlyn McInnis

No matter who you’re speaking to, you have agency. While you should always be respectful, just because you aren’t in a position of power doesn’t mean you have to be meek. Make the most of your time by speaking clearly and confidently.

Opening an email with “I just wanted to check in” and closing with “Looking forward to hearing from you” are common cliches that Kaitlyn McInnis says to avoid. These phrases, and the ones like them, are dancing around the subject instead of getting to the heart of the matter. These phrases can even make it sound like you’re apologizing for simply requesting information or a follow-up.

“I hope this email finds you well” is another fan non-favorite. Not only is it a massive cliché, but no one actually talks like this. It’s a greeting of the inexperienced. A simple “good wishes” or “I hope you’re having a great day” feels more natural and sincere.

Over apologizing

“Sorry to bother you, but…”- Kathy and Ross Petras

Tying into the above point, the problem with many of these words in phrases is that they appear overly apologetic. You shouldn’t feel like you’re impeding on someone’s time with a necessary request.

Apologizing when necessary is something everyone should strive for, but when you’re following up or asking for clarity, you shouldn’t feel excusatory.

Kaitlyn McInnis suggests finding ways to turn an apology into a thank you. If it took you a while to respond to an email, thank the sender for their patience rather than apologize for the tardiness. We all have things come up, and everyone should be willing to forgive the occasional late email.

“Sorry to bother you” is one of the most guilty examples. Kathy and Ross Petras say that you can appear much more confident and less self-deprecating with a simple “excuse me.” It’s a polite way to garner attention without belittling yourself. Remember—being direct is a sign of confidence!

Wrap up

We all fall victim to these weak phrases, and some of them are so ingrained in our vocabulary that we don’t even realize it! Take some time to self-reflect and analyze your language choices. You can even go back to previous emails or texts to see if you’re guilty of these practices. Avoid qualifying language, be direct and sincere, and don’t apologize simply for existing. These small steps will go far in making you sound confident to your peers and, with luck, yourself!

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Boosting Your Confidence At Work

It’s not always easy feeling confident at work. Interacting with a boss, making presentations, making cold calls, meeting with unfamiliar people, and taking on new tasks can be daunting no matter where you’re at in your career. It may seem like confidence comes easier to some people, but, thankfully, confidence is a skill that can be built.

Building confidence means confronting your worst enemy—yourself. In order for others to perceive you as confident, you’ll have to convince yourself. But once you do, you’ll find yourself exuding confidence and reaping all the benefits.

It may be intimidating, but adopt these behaviors and you’ll boost your confidence in no time!

“Confidence comes from consistency in the fundamentals and making the plays in practice.” -Aaron Rodgers

Acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments

Many of us fall victim to imposter syndrome, the belief we haven’t fairly earned our accomplishments. Imposter syndrome is one of the most common confidence killers in the professional world, and knowing how to silence those thoughts is the first step in building confidence.

No matter how you feel, you’ve done impressive feats in your life and you have valuable talents. Focus on what you’ve done so far and how far you’ve come in your career. Try writing down your strengths and weaknesses to get a feel for what you bring to the table, and take pride in your accomplishments. It isn’t boasting to hype yourself up, and, in fact, many career coaches recommend keeping a “brag book” of your accomplishments so you have a handy-dandy reminder of what you’ve done.

If you still struggle to hype yourself up, Forbers’ contributor Caroline Castrillon says to not be afraid to ask someone you trust to help you. They’ll be able to remind you of your strengths and even provide aspects you may have overlooked or underplayed.

Be prepared and practice

Once you’ve gotten in a better headspace, you can make your next necessary steps. Greatness comes from practice and preparation, and those are tenets you’ll need to embrace.

Athletes attain aptitude by constantly studying their opponents, examining their past play, and practicing the fundamentals, and you can do the same in your career. When accepting a new task or project, do as much prior research as you can and practice in a way that makes sense for you. For example, if you’re interviewing for a new job, WeCruitr says to read the job description carefully and study the company’s website. You’ll be able to make sure you meet the company’s needs and you’ll feel ready to tackle any questions about it.

If you need to give a presentation, practice! Even if you’re good at extemporaneous speaking or want to appear natural, the more preparation you do, the more naturally the words and ideas will flow. You’ll practice so many times it will feel like second nature, leading to confidence in the material.

Be intentional with your body language

We’re all familiar with the phrase “fake it ’til you make it.” This is a common practice for even the most confident appearing people. If you look the part of a confident person, you’ll convince others you’re confident, even yourself.

Adapting your body language to appear more confident will change the way you’re perceived, for example.

“Straighten your back as much as possible, refrain from fidgeting your legs, tapping your fingers, or having your hands underneath a table. Displaying and moving your hands while speaking shows that you have nothing to hide from the person you are talking to. Therefore, you are considered honest and sure of what you are saying, appearing as confident.” –Amaris Miranda, Nexxt

Your dress style is another way to give off an aura of confidence, reminds Federico Omarini. Make sure to dress the part for important meetings and events and take the extra step to dress professionally. You don’t need to do the Step Brothers strategy and wear a tuxedo to every interview but go for the nice pants over jeans in your business casual attire.

Surround yourself with the right people

If you’re still struggling to appear confident after the following steps, don’t be afraid to lean on people in your network. The best aspect of networking is to have people in your corner that believe in you and trust your capabilities.

Allison Walsh says to surround yourself with positive people who will help your journey. If you spend time with those that lift you up, you’ll find your inner voice strengthened and you’ll be able to stave off negative thoughts. Learn how to accept and believe the compliments you receive.

Look to people you admire and try to emulate their behaviors. Caroline Castrillon says that the process of figuring out what makes these people confident will unconsciously help you pick up on these behaviors. You’ll make these behaviors your own, and soon you’ll be just as confident as them.

Accept yourself

Being confident doesn’t mean you’ve hit a plateau of success and you’re done growing. You’ll need to learn to accept yourself and how far you’ve come even if it still means you have growth to accomplishment. Self-betterment is a life-long journey, and confidence means accepting this and believing you can continue the journey.

Fear of failure is one of the biggest confidence-killers out there, Kaylyn McKenna writes. Fear of failure shouldn’t stop you from trying new things, and failure can be a lesson in and of itself. Accept that you might fail, but view it as an opportunity for growth.

“A project may not turn out as planned, and you may make mistakes. Lerner said that as long as you learn from those experiences, you haven’t truly failed.” – Kaylyn McKenna

Wrap up

Confidence doesn’t come naturally to all of us, but it is something that anyone can emulate. Following these behaviors and incorporating them into your life will help build a sense of confidence over time.. Even if you don’t buy it yourself, once you start appearing confident to others, you’ll start feeling confident yourself.

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5 Principles For Saying “No” At Work

It’s always the best practice to be a team player at work. But sometimes you simply have too much on your plate, or other tasks are higher priority. Sometimes, you need to just say “no.”

But saying “no” isn’t always easy. You may be concerned about letting your team down or being viewed as uncooperative. You may simply be a people pleaser and struggle to let others down in any manner.

But there are a plethora of reasons why saying “no” is okay. Forbes Coaches Council mentions a task impeding your other work, having too many existing tasks on your plate, not wanting to do another worker’s work, and feeling threatened as just a few of the many reasons you may need to decline.

Accepting too much work can lead to burnout and negative mental health effects. It’s okay to say “no!” But if you struggle saying the word “no” and need a little extra guidance, follow these five principles to stay firm and guilt-free.

Communicate clearly

If you simply can’t handle a task, you need to communicate that as clearly and quickly as possible. Don’t let the fear of a backlash prevent you from expressing yourself as soon as possible. Waiting until the last minute is almost never the best interpersonal strategy.

Don’t be vague when you decline, otherwise, the person may not be sure you declined at all. Clearly state your “no,” and be direct and polite. Career coach Melody Wilding adds that apologizing and telling the truth will go a long way towards keeping things professional and your refusal being accepted.

Explain yourself

When you decline, don’t simply say “no” and leave it at that. It’s good manners to say why you aren’t able to help with this task. Explaining yourself softens the blow of the rejection and helps the person understand your motives, Indeed explains.

You don’t need to give a drawn-out explanation, but a few clarifying sentences can make all the difference. Remember, there are plenty of good reasons to decline to accept a new task, and they don’t need to be overly complicated.

“Saying something like, “I’m so sorry. I stretched myself too thin, and I won’t be able to make it,” is sufficient.” –Melody Wilding

Come up with an alternative

Even if you plan on saying “no” to a request, there are still ways you can be a team player and offer assistance in the matter. Flexibility is the key, says Ashira Prossack.

By explaining the reason you aren’t able to help right now, you may find ways to help when those reasons are no longer a factor. If you currently have too much on your plate at the moment, that may change by the end of the week, and you might be able to offer assistance then.

Alternatively, you might offer to help with a smaller part of the project that you can currently handle. Or you might know of someone better suited to the task or an available resource that can help. Flexibility and offering to help in some small ways show you aren’t being completely dismissive and want the project to succeed.

“If you can’t do something on a specific day or time, see if there’s another timeframe that works for both you and the other person.” –Ashira Prossack, communication trainer

Choose your battles

You can’t simply decline every task that comes your way. Work will involve tasks we don’t want to do, and you don’t want to be someone who declines everything. Being respectful and choosing the right moments to say “no” will lead to your dismissal being respected.

CNN Business found that viewing tasks as “promotable” or “non-promotable” can help you view which tasks are worth making the extra time for. If a task can lead to career advancement or increasing your skills, it might be worth making extra time and saying “yes”.

“Think more strategically on what is the non-promotable work that really makes sense for you to spend your time… find out where yours makes the most sense.” –CNN Business

Ultimately, you may have to compromise. It’s not always possible to completely say no, but if you’ve been direct and respectful, you may find a solution or timeframe that better meets your needs.

But don’t be a pushover

But a compromise isn’t a full “yes.” You might be flexible and offer help another time, but you’ve still said “no” to their current needs, and you can feel confident in that. Indeed says if you immediately cave and completely give in, your coworkers will know they can get you to reverse your stance in future conflicts.

Ask A Boss’ Alison Green reminds us that it’s important to know how to set boundaries. It’s good to be helpful and flexible, but if you feel your time is being taken advantage of, you need to stand your ground—especially in cases when it feels like you’re being asked to do someone else’s work. Accept this and recognize when to comprise and when to stay firm.

Wrap up

It isn’t always easy to say “no,” and none of us want to seem unhelpful. But there are plenty of good reasons to say “no” to accepting more work. Make sure that you respond clearly and explain yourself, and try to be flexible when you can. You won’t always be able to say “no,” but if you choose your battles carefully, no one will be able to blame you for being firm when it counts.

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Making Remote Workplace Friends

The rise in remote work brought a lot of convenience for workers, but one of the few downsides is the lack of social connections. While an open office could be a distraction, the ability to talk with coworkers and partake in “water cooler” chat was a perk of going to work.

Those relationships are much harder to form in remote positions, especially if you never meet your coworkers in person. Having a friend at work is good for both your personal morale and for the company itself. Business News Daily cited a 2021 Workplace Friendship & Happiness survey that found the following:

“57% of people say having a best friend in the workplace makes work more enjoyable, 22% feel more productive with friends, and 21% say friendship makes them more creative.”

Just because you’re not working in the same office doesn’t mean you can’t find a work BFF, however. Online communities are common on message boards, in video games, and in fantasy sports. You can form meaningful work friendships, too. It may take a little extra effort, but if you follow these tips, you can make workplace friends with ease!

Why are virtual relationships more difficult?

Harvard Business Review found that many workers view the virtual connection as a barrier to forming real friendships. When you aren’t spending time directly interacting with someone, you may miss out on visual clues that are often vital in interpersonal relationships. The researchers at HBR state that coworkers need to build cadence with one another, essentially a good back-and-forth based on being able to predict behavior. You can build that cadence virtually, it just takes a little more time and effort than it would in person.

See what the company can do

Hopefully, your organization has adapted to the remote atmosphere and can provide a welcoming remote onboarding. A good onboarding not only gives you valuable insight into the company’s culture but can fill you in on any virtual events. Your company or department may do virtual get-togethers, or maybe even after-work virtual happy hours.

Employers Advantage believes a savvy workplace can take even more steps to provide an atmosphere conducive to friendship. Employers can arrange all sorts of remote gatherings without the bosses being present to provide a safe space for employees to bond and discuss without an authority figure nearby. If your workplace uses Microsoft Teams or Slack, employers can create channels for similar interests, like sports talk or running.

Find a buddy

If you’re in luck, your company may provide you with a work buddy. If not, don’t be afraid to ask for one. If you’re new to the company, having an experienced coworker that isn’t your direct supervisor can be a great way to learn the ins and outs of the organization, and they could become your first friend.

Career coach Octavia Goredema suggests looking through your employee handbook or company website to find resource groups, mentorship programs, or volunteer opportunities. She also thinks one of the best options is to ask for other recent hires as a buddy.

“Someone who is just a few months ahead of you has a perspective that will be so helpful,” –Octavia Goredema

Take initiative

Maybe you don’t work for a large company with a lot of resources dedicated to these types of group activities. That’s okay! You can still make friends. You’ll just need to take initiative.

Ask your supervisor if there are people they think would be good connections for you. Go out of your way to strike up conversations. When you’re finishing a meeting or discussion, ask personal questions or try to learn about shared interests. It may be awkward at first, especially without physical interaction, but these same principles apply to in-person conversations as well. Someone needs to be the first one to dig a bit deeper, it may as well be you.

If you need initial ice breakers, Employers Advantage suggests asking a coworker simple questions rather than a supervisor. For example, asking about dress code expectations. These innocent questions allow you to build a dialogue, and the person being asked feels valued. This can lead to other informal chatting down the road.

The Muse suggests if your team doesn’t have planned virtual activities or communication channels to be the one to plan them. These virtual events can be one-on-one or with a larger group and don’t need a specific purpose other than general chitchat and a place to set work aside for a moment. These conversations will not only allow you to get to know your coworkers but can increase team morale.

Finally, Psychology Today believes being open to sharing more of yourself and offering praise will go a long way. If you’re willing to share, others will feel more comfortable sharing, and sharing and offering praise will make them feel more human. The smallest bits of effort can make a fellow employee feel more appreciated.

Wrap up

Just because you don’t work in the same building doesn’t mean you can’t find a work bestie to chat with, support, and help each other get through the day. Many companies offer resources to help you form relationships, and you may even find a dedicated work buddy. But you always have the power to take initiative and create a space for friendships to blossom. Even the smallest bits of effort will be noticed.

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