Ditch These Phrases To Become More Confident

Whether you’re applying for your first job, branching out into a career change, or you’re an experienced leader, confidence is crucial in establishing yourself in your career. Becoming truly confident in your work life can be a lifelong process, but there are small steps you can take right now to lay the necessary foundation.

By doing something as simple as self-monitoring the language you use on a daily basis, you can avoid phrases that portray a lack of confidence. When you use the right language, not only will you appear confident to others, but you’ll convince yourself as well.

Ladder’s Kaitlyn McInnis, Forbes’ Christine Comaford, Inc’s Marla Tabaka, and CNBC Make It’s Kathy and Ross Petras cited some key phrases to ditch in order to exemplify confidence. We’ll categorize them and highlight a few of the most egregious examples.

Verbal qualifiers

“Almost: “I think I’ve said almost everything about that.”” -Christine Comaford

The core of what you’re saying can express your idea effectively, but a single word or innocuous phrase will take the power away from your message. In the above example, the speaker could have finished strong, but the phrase “I think” and the word “almost” take the wind out of the sails.

Qualifying words like the two above lead to being perceived as a weak leader or speaker. When you use these words, you aren’t owning the statement you’re making, and you’re disconnecting from your feelings, according to Christine Comaford. These words take the authority away from the speaker, making you appear weaker.

Med School Insiders lists adding “Does that make sense?”, “Know what I mean?”, and “I dunno” as other common qualifiers nervous speakers will add to the end of their ideas that express a lack of confidence.

Simply removing the qualifiers keeps the core of your message intact while making it appear stronger. Marla Tabaka provides the following:

“I just feel like this is an important problem for us to explore.” vs. “This is an important problem for us to explore.”

Which sounds more confident to you?

Being indirect or cliched

“I just wanted to check in…” – Kaitlyn McInnis

No matter who you’re speaking to, you have agency. While you should always be respectful, just because you aren’t in a position of power doesn’t mean you have to be meek. Make the most of your time by speaking clearly and confidently.

Opening an email with “I just wanted to check in” and closing with “Looking forward to hearing from you” are common cliches that Kaitlyn McInnis says to avoid. These phrases, and the ones like them, are dancing around the subject instead of getting to the heart of the matter. These phrases can even make it sound like you’re apologizing for simply requesting information or a follow-up.

“I hope this email finds you well” is another fan non-favorite. Not only is it a massive cliché, but no one actually talks like this. It’s a greeting of the inexperienced. A simple “good wishes” or “I hope you’re having a great day” feels more natural and sincere.

Over apologizing

“Sorry to bother you, but…”- Kathy and Ross Petras

Tying into the above point, the problem with many of these words in phrases is that they appear overly apologetic. You shouldn’t feel like you’re impeding on someone’s time with a necessary request.

Apologizing when necessary is something everyone should strive for, but when you’re following up or asking for clarity, you shouldn’t feel excusatory.

Kaitlyn McInnis suggests finding ways to turn an apology into a thank you. If it took you a while to respond to an email, thank the sender for their patience rather than apologize for the tardiness. We all have things come up, and everyone should be willing to forgive the occasional late email.

“Sorry to bother you” is one of the most guilty examples. Kathy and Ross Petras say that you can appear much more confident and less self-deprecating with a simple “excuse me.” It’s a polite way to garner attention without belittling yourself. Remember—being direct is a sign of confidence!

Wrap up

We all fall victim to these weak phrases, and some of them are so ingrained in our vocabulary that we don’t even realize it! Take some time to self-reflect and analyze your language choices. You can even go back to previous emails or texts to see if you’re guilty of these practices. Avoid qualifying language, be direct and sincere, and don’t apologize simply for existing. These small steps will go far in making you sound confident to your peers and, with luck, yourself!

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Boosting Your Confidence At Work

It’s not always easy feeling confident at work. Interacting with a boss, making presentations, making cold calls, meeting with unfamiliar people, and taking on new tasks can be daunting no matter where you’re at in your career. It may seem like confidence comes easier to some people, but, thankfully, confidence is a skill that can be built.

Building confidence means confronting your worst enemy—yourself. In order for others to perceive you as confident, you’ll have to convince yourself. But once you do, you’ll find yourself exuding confidence and reaping all the benefits.

It may be intimidating, but adopt these behaviors and you’ll boost your confidence in no time!

“Confidence comes from consistency in the fundamentals and making the plays in practice.” -Aaron Rodgers

Acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments

Many of us fall victim to imposter syndrome, the belief we haven’t fairly earned our accomplishments. Imposter syndrome is one of the most common confidence killers in the professional world, and knowing how to silence those thoughts is the first step in building confidence.

No matter how you feel, you’ve done impressive feats in your life and you have valuable talents. Focus on what you’ve done so far and how far you’ve come in your career. Try writing down your strengths and weaknesses to get a feel for what you bring to the table, and take pride in your accomplishments. It isn’t boasting to hype yourself up, and, in fact, many career coaches recommend keeping a “brag book” of your accomplishments so you have a handy-dandy reminder of what you’ve done.

If you still struggle to hype yourself up, Forbers’ contributor Caroline Castrillon says to not be afraid to ask someone you trust to help you. They’ll be able to remind you of your strengths and even provide aspects you may have overlooked or underplayed.

Be prepared and practice

Once you’ve gotten in a better headspace, you can make your next necessary steps. Greatness comes from practice and preparation, and those are tenets you’ll need to embrace.

Athletes attain aptitude by constantly studying their opponents, examining their past play, and practicing the fundamentals, and you can do the same in your career. When accepting a new task or project, do as much prior research as you can and practice in a way that makes sense for you. For example, if you’re interviewing for a new job, WeCruitr says to read the job description carefully and study the company’s website. You’ll be able to make sure you meet the company’s needs and you’ll feel ready to tackle any questions about it.

If you need to give a presentation, practice! Even if you’re good at extemporaneous speaking or want to appear natural, the more preparation you do, the more naturally the words and ideas will flow. You’ll practice so many times it will feel like second nature, leading to confidence in the material.

Be intentional with your body language

We’re all familiar with the phrase “fake it ’til you make it.” This is a common practice for even the most confident appearing people. If you look the part of a confident person, you’ll convince others you’re confident, even yourself.

Adapting your body language to appear more confident will change the way you’re perceived, for example.

“Straighten your back as much as possible, refrain from fidgeting your legs, tapping your fingers, or having your hands underneath a table. Displaying and moving your hands while speaking shows that you have nothing to hide from the person you are talking to. Therefore, you are considered honest and sure of what you are saying, appearing as confident.” –Amaris Miranda, Nexxt

Your dress style is another way to give off an aura of confidence, reminds Federico Omarini. Make sure to dress the part for important meetings and events and take the extra step to dress professionally. You don’t need to do the Step Brothers strategy and wear a tuxedo to every interview but go for the nice pants over jeans in your business casual attire.

Surround yourself with the right people

If you’re still struggling to appear confident after the following steps, don’t be afraid to lean on people in your network. The best aspect of networking is to have people in your corner that believe in you and trust your capabilities.

Allison Walsh says to surround yourself with positive people who will help your journey. If you spend time with those that lift you up, you’ll find your inner voice strengthened and you’ll be able to stave off negative thoughts. Learn how to accept and believe the compliments you receive.

Look to people you admire and try to emulate their behaviors. Caroline Castrillon says that the process of figuring out what makes these people confident will unconsciously help you pick up on these behaviors. You’ll make these behaviors your own, and soon you’ll be just as confident as them.

Accept yourself

Being confident doesn’t mean you’ve hit a plateau of success and you’re done growing. You’ll need to learn to accept yourself and how far you’ve come even if it still means you have growth to accomplishment. Self-betterment is a life-long journey, and confidence means accepting this and believing you can continue the journey.

Fear of failure is one of the biggest confidence-killers out there, Kaylyn McKenna writes. Fear of failure shouldn’t stop you from trying new things, and failure can be a lesson in and of itself. Accept that you might fail, but view it as an opportunity for growth.

“A project may not turn out as planned, and you may make mistakes. Lerner said that as long as you learn from those experiences, you haven’t truly failed.” – Kaylyn McKenna

Wrap up

Confidence doesn’t come naturally to all of us, but it is something that anyone can emulate. Following these behaviors and incorporating them into your life will help build a sense of confidence over time.. Even if you don’t buy it yourself, once you start appearing confident to others, you’ll start feeling confident yourself.

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5 Principles For Saying “No” At Work

It’s always the best practice to be a team player at work. But sometimes you simply have too much on your plate, or other tasks are higher priority. Sometimes, you need to just say “no.”

But saying “no” isn’t always easy. You may be concerned about letting your team down or being viewed as uncooperative. You may simply be a people pleaser and struggle to let others down in any manner.

But there are a plethora of reasons why saying “no” is okay. Forbes Coaches Council mentions a task impeding your other work, having too many existing tasks on your plate, not wanting to do another worker’s work, and feeling threatened as just a few of the many reasons you may need to decline.

Accepting too much work can lead to burnout and negative mental health effects. It’s okay to say “no!” But if you struggle saying the word “no” and need a little extra guidance, follow these five principles to stay firm and guilt-free.

Communicate clearly

If you simply can’t handle a task, you need to communicate that as clearly and quickly as possible. Don’t let the fear of a backlash prevent you from expressing yourself as soon as possible. Waiting until the last minute is almost never the best interpersonal strategy.

Don’t be vague when you decline, otherwise, the person may not be sure you declined at all. Clearly state your “no,” and be direct and polite. Career coach Melody Wilding adds that apologizing and telling the truth will go a long way towards keeping things professional and your refusal being accepted.

Explain yourself

When you decline, don’t simply say “no” and leave it at that. It’s good manners to say why you aren’t able to help with this task. Explaining yourself softens the blow of the rejection and helps the person understand your motives, Indeed explains.

You don’t need to give a drawn-out explanation, but a few clarifying sentences can make all the difference. Remember, there are plenty of good reasons to decline to accept a new task, and they don’t need to be overly complicated.

“Saying something like, “I’m so sorry. I stretched myself too thin, and I won’t be able to make it,” is sufficient.” –Melody Wilding

Come up with an alternative

Even if you plan on saying “no” to a request, there are still ways you can be a team player and offer assistance in the matter. Flexibility is the key, says Ashira Prossack.

By explaining the reason you aren’t able to help right now, you may find ways to help when those reasons are no longer a factor. If you currently have too much on your plate at the moment, that may change by the end of the week, and you might be able to offer assistance then.

Alternatively, you might offer to help with a smaller part of the project that you can currently handle. Or you might know of someone better suited to the task or an available resource that can help. Flexibility and offering to help in some small ways show you aren’t being completely dismissive and want the project to succeed.

“If you can’t do something on a specific day or time, see if there’s another timeframe that works for both you and the other person.” –Ashira Prossack, communication trainer

Choose your battles

You can’t simply decline every task that comes your way. Work will involve tasks we don’t want to do, and you don’t want to be someone who declines everything. Being respectful and choosing the right moments to say “no” will lead to your dismissal being respected.

CNN Business found that viewing tasks as “promotable” or “non-promotable” can help you view which tasks are worth making the extra time for. If a task can lead to career advancement or increasing your skills, it might be worth making extra time and saying “yes”.

“Think more strategically on what is the non-promotable work that really makes sense for you to spend your time… find out where yours makes the most sense.” –CNN Business

Ultimately, you may have to compromise. It’s not always possible to completely say no, but if you’ve been direct and respectful, you may find a solution or timeframe that better meets your needs.

But don’t be a pushover

But a compromise isn’t a full “yes.” You might be flexible and offer help another time, but you’ve still said “no” to their current needs, and you can feel confident in that. Indeed says if you immediately cave and completely give in, your coworkers will know they can get you to reverse your stance in future conflicts.

Ask A Boss’ Alison Green reminds us that it’s important to know how to set boundaries. It’s good to be helpful and flexible, but if you feel your time is being taken advantage of, you need to stand your ground—especially in cases when it feels like you’re being asked to do someone else’s work. Accept this and recognize when to comprise and when to stay firm.

Wrap up

It isn’t always easy to say “no,” and none of us want to seem unhelpful. But there are plenty of good reasons to say “no” to accepting more work. Make sure that you respond clearly and explain yourself, and try to be flexible when you can. You won’t always be able to say “no,” but if you choose your battles carefully, no one will be able to blame you for being firm when it counts.

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Defining and Presenting Your Personal Brand

Branding is a powerful tool that allows consumers to anthropomorphize different companies. Some of the most successful companies stay in the public eye because of their strong branding and iconic imagery. But this isn’t limited to large companies. With some careful planning, you can create a curated digital presence through personal branding.

Using technology, potential employers and customers can learn all about you without ever meeting you. With that in mind, it’s better to control that image yourself. How do you want to be viewed? No matter where you’re at in your career, controlling your own narrative can be the key to living the life you desire. We’ll explore why it’s so important to build your brand and what you can do to present yourself in the best possible way.

Why does it matter?

Think of a celebrity, whether you like them or not. Think about the traits you associate with them. You’ve likely never met this person, but you have an opinion of them based on these perceived traits. That’s the power of personal branding, and it’s reasonable to assume you’d rather have people thinking positively about you.

Harrison Monarth sees the difference between reputation and personal brand as intentionality. Your reputation is based on first impressions and the relationships you’ve formed. Personal branding is about creating your narrative and deciding what you want to present.

Renderforest lists three keys benefits of having a well-defined personal brand:

Raising self-awareness: Taking a look inward will give you a deeper understanding of your strengths and weakness and the value you can bring to others. Once you understand this yourself, you can better market what you have to offer.

Build trust and credibility: If you’re putting forth a consistent and accurate message, you’ll appear much more credible. With the traits you’ve chosen to define you at the front, people will look to you as an expert where it matters.

Grow your network: If you’ve built trust and credibility, you’ll come to be viewed as an expert in your niche. This will lead to others reaching out to you and looking for your expertise.

Finally, according to Medium, as of 2020, 43% of the workforce in the US is made of freelancers and contract workers. If your name is your business, it’s crucial to have a strong personal brand to keep growing.

How to build your personal brand

You already have a personal brand whether you realize it or not, but it’ll take some self-scouting to craft the image you want. Mac Prichard suggests doing a self-audit and asking others for objective feedback. Do a deep dive on search engines to see what pops up when you search for yourself and make sure your social media pages are “clean.” Then, talk to people you know and see what you’re known for. You can use anonymous tools to make sure you get honest feedback.

“You may be tagged in a video on Facebook where you’re singing Happy Birthday offkey. Funny and harmless—except if that’s the first thing an employer sees when searching for a serious, competent business leader.” -Mac Prichard

Next, decide how you want to be defined and what your goals are. How do you want to be known? Whether you’re a charismatic salesperson, a master of a specific technology, or an expert in handling conflict resolution, you want to have a clearly defined niche. The more specific that niche, the better. We recently covered the idea of the elevator pitch—a short summary of who you are and what you can offer. This is the core of your personal brand.

After these steps, you should have an idea of how you’re currently viewed and how you’d like to be viewed. The next step, according to Anders Hjorth, is to build your assets. What resources do you need to increase your visibility and your credibility?

You can not like social media, but it pays (sometimes literally) to have the right profiles. Depending on your industry, you may also want your own website to showcase your work or a portfolio filled with previous projects.

Make sure those profiles are working for you through careful design. Make sure your profiles will get noticed and make people want to contact you.

At the end of this process, Mac Prichard says to go all out. Once you’ve built a brand you’re happy with, steer into it. Exude confidence and don’t be afraid to show off your personality.

“You’ve done the work to know who you are and what you bring to the workplace. When you are clear and convinced that you’re a valuable and effective contributor, that message shines through. Your professional brand should convince others that you think you’re the best candidate for the job, and they should too!” -Mac Prichard

Wrap up

Standing out for the right reasons is the key to succeeding in the business world. Creating a clearly defined niche and becoming an expert will grow your network, help build great relationships, and assist you in finding your dream career. Playing an active role in crafting your personal brand is the first step, and the benefits are endless!

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Stand Out In Your Next Interview With These Insider Tips

Following the Great Resignation, companies are looking to refill positions while job seekers look for new positions that align with their values. While that means there are a plethora of job openings, there is a significant amount of competition for those top openings. As a job seeker, how can you stand out in your interview?

We’ve previously covered some of the best interview practices, but it pays to keep innovating and adapting. Forbes’ Jack Kelly took a look at the hiring trends from Spring 2022 and provided an insider’s view on how to stand out in a challenging hiring cycle. We’ll look at Jack’s findings and provide some of our own to help you land your next career.

Clearly express interest

We’ve previously analyzed the similarity between dating and job searching. One common technique in dating that you should NOT add to your job search playbook is playing hard to get. If hiring managers are going to invest time, money, and effort into hiring and training you, they want you to be invested in the company and its culture.

Jack explains there is a lot that goes on behind the scenes in a hiring cycle, including multiple departments being looped in, preparing a compensation offer, and planning onboarding and training. A candidate that rejects an offer or prefers to wait for a better one is wasting a lot of the company’s time.

This is why you want to reiterate that you want the job. Make that desire shine through your body language and in your responses. Reference what you like about the organization and the position. Your sincerity will keep you in their minds when they make their decision.

Be prepared

Jack’s next suggestions, asking smart questions and proving you did your homework, fall into a similar category. The more knowledge you possess before you enter the building (literally or metaphorically), the better of a candidate you’ll be.

“Being prepared and being someone that can show you are prepared provides the interviewer with the impression you are interested in the potential job, took the time to plan ahead, and care about the outcome.” –Biron Clark, Career Sidekick

The more you know about the organization, the more invested you’ll seem in the position, helping with the previous point. It will also help you relate your skills and experiences back to the role you’re interviewing for. The more deeply engaged you can be, the better your rapport with the interviewer will be, and you’ll prove yourself a capable candidate.

Michele Mavi of Fairygodboss stresses the importance of leaving generic responses at home. Take time to thoughtfully and specifically answer a prompt rather than rushing to throw out a quick response. And make sure to actually answer a prompt. Don’t force the interviewer to hunt for value in your answer.

Meanwhile, the more you prepare, the better your follow-up questions will be. Every interview should end with a chance to ask your questions, and preparing meaningful questions in advance show foresight and a desire for deeper knowledge.

Make the interviewer’s life easy

Depending on the position, interviewers may be talking to dozens of applicants, and before they even get to that point they must go through even more resumes and schedule time to talk to all of their prospective clients.

Work with the interviewer to schedule a time that works for them, especially if you’ve got flexible time yourself. That extra bit of courtesy from asking “when is a good time for you?” shows you value their time and you’re willing to be a team player. It may not seem like much, but these types of traits are valuable and not always ubiquitous. You don’t have to be a push-over to succeed, but some basic courtesy and willingness to be a team player go a long way.

Use a call to action

Every persuasive speech should end with a call to action, and an interview is no exception. Your desired outcome should be “hire me”, or at the very least, “bring me in for the next round of interviews.”

Jack says to make sure to ask for next steps and to even go as far as to ask “Could you please share what the next steps are and who I’ll meet with for the following rounds?” This exudes confidence while reiterating your interest in the role. Express that you want the role, reference a few topics discussed during your interview, ask about next steps, and make sure to thank your interviewer before you leave.

Show some personality

This isn’t in Jack’s piece, but showing off your uniqueness in a professional manner will help you stand out, too.

James Philip, founder of Heavy Hitter Holdings, suggests a little humor and levity go a long way. You want to appear to be someone capable of putting in the hard work, but you also want to look like someone fun to work with. Striking that balance can be a rewarding challenge.

Indeed suggests wearing bold colors to make your professional attire pop. As long as it matches well and isn’t an eyesore, a brightly colored tie or dress shirt can help you stand out visually. You may not want to emulate Saul Goodman’s actions, but the man knows how to wear colorful suits!

Wrap up

All of your previous interview advice applies as well, but these particular tips should give you the extra edge to stand out in your next interview. A fully engaged, well-prepared, courtesy candidate is a hiring manager’s dream. Let your personality come across and your sincerity will surely be noted.

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