Toxic Positivity And How To Combat It

Keeping a good mindset in trying times is a valuable skill that can help you get out of a rut or find the bright side in a situation. But there comes a time when being blindly positive can be harmful or outright toxic. Sometimes, employers will cultivate a “good thoughts only” vibe that can be harmful to actual growth and stifle any needed changes.

Toxic positivity can be well-meaning or it can be intentionally manipulative. We’ll break down what toxic positivity is, signs to watch out for, and ways you can combat it in your own workplace.

What is it?

So how exactly can positivity be a bad thing? Clinical psychologist Lauren Cook defines toxic positivity as “an unwavering devotion to optimism that can minimize or disregard when someone is in emotional pain.” Essentially, you’re expected to ignore and disassociate from any negative feelings and blindly accept a positive outlook as a placebo.

A positive outlook can be great, but you don’t need to invalidate any negative feelings or questions you have. According to US News, a culture of toxic positivity invalidates feelings and experiences, creates a culture of avoidance, and triggers feelings of shame. When you’re being told by outside sources how you should feel about something, you’re either going to be brainwashed into accepting the corporate line or you’ll stuff down those negative thoughts down for fear of how your opinions will be perceived.

“We all have painful emotions and experiences. Those emotions, while often unpleasant, need to be felt and dealt with openly and honestly to achieve acceptance and greater psychological health.” –Kendra Cherry

Conflict is vital for growth, and sometimes we need to have unpleasant conversations in order to arrive at a meaningful conclusion. A culture trying to stifle that is more content with control and status quo than one of growth and value.

Career Contessa’s Danielle Doolen also highlights the difference between toxic positivity and positive validation. If a coworker approaches you after something difficult and you say, “It’ll be fine,” that’s toxic. Positive validation would be acknowledging the problem is difficult and expressing that you’re there for that person.

Signs of toxic positivity

So when does positivity become flat-out toxic? A workplace that can help empower you through hard times is helpful, but when does it become too much?

Kendra Cherry looks at commonly used and often well-meaning phrases like “everything happens for a reason,” “look on the bright side,” or “happiness is a choice” as examples. These are dismissive of your feelings, promote avoidance, and shift blame onto you for feeling negative emotions. The person might mean well but is ultimately taking agency away from you.

Another common example given by Erik Pham of Forbes is always believing things will work themselves out. “Take care of the small problems and the big ones will take care of themselves,” for example. This is a way of avoiding the core of a problem and almost ensures necessary changes won’t be made.

Ways to fight back

So how can you fight back against a culture where problems are swept under the rug of false positivity?

Start by being solution-oriented. There will likely always be something in a workplace that could be done better. Instead of pretending everything is fine, acknowledge that there is a problem and create a dialogue to find a solution. The Muse’s Sakshi Udavant says to ask for ways to offer support or acknowledge feelings and ask what might be done about a situation instead of saying, “Things will improve.”

However, sometimes people simply want a friendly ear rather than a solution. Practice empathy and active listening to find the best way to help your coworkers. Just make sure to validate their feelings rather than provide a meaningless buzzphrase.

Forbes’ Jack Kelly says to be unafraid to set boundaries and to be honest about your feelings. If you’re feeling bullied into a false sense of positivity, don’t be afraid to speak up. Those in leadership roles must be willing to have honest conversations and fight back against the culture.

“Ideally, your employees wouldn’t need explicit permission to take care of themselves. But many people have been trained throughout their careers to see self-sacrifice as a badge of honor. Your team will thrive, though, if you encourage them to take the time to recover, rest, and even just have a bad day. It’s okay to not always be okay.” –Allaya Cooks-Campbell, BetterUp

Wrap up

A positive mindset can have wonderful benefits for work culture and mental health but forcing a culture of toxic positivity creates more problems down the road. Toxic positivity can lead to a burned-out workforce that sits on their feelings out of fear of being ostracized. Be watchful of the language you use and make efforts to have open and honest conversations whenever possible. Conflict can lead to growth, and most problems require an active solution to be sought.

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Increasing Your Visibility On LinkedIn

Having a presence on LinkedIn is a must for the modern job seeker. Simply having a profile and being a ghost on the platform isn’t enough. If you’re trying to stand out and find a new job, you need to make an effort to be visible to recruiters and hiring managers.

Competition for jobs is tough, and you need to find a way to stand out from thousands of other users. Make sure that your profile is working for you and keeping you visible by taking these expert-recommended steps!

Have a catchy headline

By default, LinkedIn will make your headline your current job title. While these might make sense at first, many people don’t realize that your headline can be up to show up to 200~ characters on mobile. This gives you an often underutilized space to market yourself. Plus, it’s the first thing someone viewing your profile sees after your name.

A generic headline makes you easy to overlook, so get your personal brand out there. HBR’s Jane Heifetz uses the example of a marketing professional using the following headline to express interest in a health and wellness-related career:

“Holistic health/yoga instructor, consultant, connecter * Marketing executive for small businesses & nonprofits”

This shows the applicant’s passion for the industry, their specific niche, and provides desirable skills.

Keep your summary up to date

Likewise, you should keep your summary or “About Me” section constantly updated and tailored to make you stand out. Don’t just have a summary of your duties or create an indecipherable labyrinth of buzzwords. Instead, use this space to tell a story and communicate the value you’d bring to any organization lucky enough to have your services.

This is an ideal space to use keywords targeted toward your industry in a meaningful way. Find ways to relate your accomplishments to your desired role in an organic way. You’ll showcase your skills in a way that makes you appear in search engines and shows off your personality.

Have a headshot and banner

Don’t force your words to carry you by themselves, though. Unlike a resume, where having a picture of you is a bad idea, you want to have a clear headshot visible. Don’t forget that LinkedIn is ultimately a social media platform. If your name appears on every comment you make or every application you send out, you want your photo next to it. Make sure it’s a professional and current picture, of course.

“Instead of the default blue banner, use something that catches people’s attention and reflects what is important to you. It might be a picture of your workspace or something you use in your line of work.” –Careerist

While a headshot may seem obvious, an often forgotten space is the banner of your profile. You can use one of LinkedIn’s graphics or create your own as something like a virtual business card. CNBC Make It’s Gili Malinsky highlights this as a prime real estate spot where you can show off who you are as a professional. This lets you show off more personality while highlighting what matters to you.

Fill out your full profile

You’ve got the flashy, immediately visible elements updated, but don’t skimp on the core skeleton of your profile. The more you have filled out, the more information a potential recruiter will have access to, and the more likely your profile will show up in searches.

Of particular note is the “Skills” section, which Distinctive Web believes is often neglected. Job titles and desired skills are the two most likely types of keywords recruiters will search for. Having a solid list of your skills (worded slightly differently thanks to the way LinkedIn’s Skills section works) in addition to peppering them throughout your summary and experience will give you a better chance of being found.

Post regularly

Having a good profile is just the first start. Make sure to actually use that profile! You don’t want to be annoying, but you don’t want to be a ghost either. Finding a balance of posting, commenting, and sharing will keep you more visible than users who don’t.

By posting somewhat regularly, you’ll show up toward the top of your connections’ feed. This creates more engagement opportunities, creating even more visibility. Kate Wade says that when in doubt, shoot to create thought-leadership-type posts or light-hearted observations to build connections.

“Post at least once a week but not more than once per day. You can comment on content, share others’ content, or create your own.” –Elissa Harris, mbaMission

Wrap up

It doesn’t take much effort to have a visually appealing LinkedIn profile that will draw in recruiters. You’d be surprised how many job seekers neglect these seemingly easy steps. The key is to craft a profile that fits your personal brand and to make consistent efforts to update your profile. Soon enough, you’ll find recruiters looking your way!

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How To Foster Autonomy In The Workplace

It’s no secret that the past few years have introduced many new challenges and changed our day-to-day lives. Remote and hybrid work models are more common, and soft, transferable skills are in high demand. That’s why employee autonomy, the ability for a worker to take ownership of their work and thrive in their own way, is such a sought-after skill.

If you’re an employer, you want to set your team up for success and provide avenues to promote autonomy. But it’s not always easy to do so, especially if your team is working remotely. But if you take the initiative by following these tenets, you can create a space to foster autonomy for your team.

“When you delegate authority, you’re giving your team the opportunity to fully invest themselves in their jobs and take ownership of the process and outcomes. Nothing but good can come from that.” –John Hall, Forbes

Be clear about expectations

In any leadership role, your job is to set the tone by communicating expectations and norms. While it can appear autonomous to let your employees run totally free, it’s better to create clear expectations and guidelines to steer your employees along the right path.

Success’ Melanie Clark suggests that a good project outline can help any worker starting a new project. Clearly defining the goal of a project, mentioning potential risks, and offering suggestions for helpful resources give the employee a great starting point while allowing them to handle the project in their own way.

“Before you give someone more autonomy over their work, make sure they understand the key objectives of their role and the metrics by which success will be measured.” –Rubina Malik, LinkedIn

Keep regular contact

Offering an employee autonomy doesn’t mean leaving them totally to their own devices. We don’t have to toss our employees to the wind and hope they fly. Being in regular contact and offering to be a point of contact promotes autonomy and fosters a healthy mindset.

Providing opportunities to check in can allow your employee to clarify any questions they have while providing your progress reports and their insights. Melanie Clark says this is a great time to be an active listener. You’ll learn more about the employee’s leadership style, strengths, and weaknesses and build a strong rapport with a future leader.

Focus on results

We all approach problems differently. Having a team of autonomous workers is a boon because you’ll have different minds finding different ways to tackle each obstacle. But in order for this to happen, you have to trust your workers’ process. Focus on their results, even if you’d take a different approach to get there.

LinkedIn’s Rubina Malik mentions the idea of a Results-Only Work Environment (ROWE). ROWE is the ideal way to view work in a remote environment since it focuses on the output and outcomes rather than micromanaging the process. Managers need to adapt to the changing work atmosphere, and even if you don’t work remotely, this philosophy still allows the worker to find their best process and achieve results.

“Today’s workforce is looking for more control over their personal and professional lives. This means giving employees the freedom to work in a way that suits them.” –Teresa Smith, UKG

Foster growth

An autonomous workforce makes life easy for you and the organization, but it also promotes growth in the employee and elevates their career. Works want to work for companies that invest in their growth, so offer any opportunities you can to assist.

HBR’s David Lancefield says to create as many learning opportunities as possible. Help your employees reach their own decisions and then find the best ways to build on those decisions. If you can act as a mentor and sounding board while they take on new challenges, you’ll be promoting valuable growth. CoachHub writes that by allowing employees to experiment and take risks, they’ll gain confidence and be more willing to try to take on new projects.

Allow mistakes

In the midst of these efforts will come mistakes. Autonomy is a developed skill, and in any skill, we must struggle to grow. Punishing these mistakes will create a fear of trying again, Instead, accept that some mistakes will be made along the way and help the worker view them as a learning opportunity.

BetterUp’s Maggie Wooll writes that delegation is about responsibility, not punishment. Frame your response as a manager as one of growth and teaching. This will increase productivity, motivation, and skill development instead of stagnating them.

“If blame and punishment are assigned for mistakes, this will only discourage future free-thinking and creativity.” –Maggie Wooll

Wrap up

Fostering a growth of autonomy in the workplace is a lot like teaching or raising children. Create opportunities for your workers to try new things while providing guidelines and a safety net for them. Let them attack problems in their own way and let them make their own mistakes along the way. The best leaders have to start somewhere, and you can help provide those steps and help both the employees and the organization grow!

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What To Say Instead Of “I Don’t Know”

The beginning of wisdom might be the statement, “I don’t know,” but a direct admission isn’t the best look in a career setting. Whether you’re trying to answer an interview question, provide insight to your team, or be looked at as a leader, there will be times you aren’t sure of the right answer. But don’t shrug it off with an IDK.

You won’t always have the right answers but don’t rush in your response. If you’re truly stumped, take a moment to ponder and come back with one of these more constructive alternatives.

Admit you don’t have enough information on the topic

We live in a world where everyone has an opinion on everything, even when they are woefully uninformed. While this can lead to a confident answer, there isn’t always value in that answer.

By admitting you aren’t an expert on a topic, it’s showing thoughtfulness. You don’t want to answer just to fill the silence, and you don’t want to bamboozle anyone with your answer. While “I don’t know” can sound lazy or knee-jerk, this response can sound thoughtful. BioSpace’s Alina Zahid says one of the worst things you can do is try to fake being an expert when you know nothing about the topic.

“You can say something along the lines of, “I haven’t dealt with a situation like that before, but I would start by asking these questions…” You could also try something like, “That concept or situation is new to me. I’ll have to look into it a bit more.”” –Triple Crown

Ask clarifying questions

However, if you take a moment to break down the question, you might find a way to give a plausible, truthful answer. This is especially useful when you’re put on the spot. By taking a deep breath and breaking the question into more manageable pieces or asking follow-up questions, you might arrive at a better answer.

Indeed says to start by repeating or paraphrasing the question. By saying it out loud, you might be able to demystify the question. But perhaps you’re tripped up on the context or on a specific verbiage. You can politely ask for clarification or a specific example. This can make the question more manageable or give you more time to consider the problem. And you’ll look thoughtful and thorough in the process.

“That’s an interesting question. So that I understand exactly what you’re looking for, do you mind unpacking the question a little more?” –Alina Zahid

Find something you do know

With some clarification, you likely can find something you know within the greater context of the question. You might not have the entire answer, but you should have enough to get somewhere.

The Muse’s Adrian J. Hopkins says that this type of lack of knowledge will often come from something you simply haven’t had experience with. Consider how the experiences you do have could relate to the problem and find a meaningful answer from there.

Zippia’s Maddie Lloyd says that when all else fails, have a fail-safe. Having something you can redirect the question to can give you a little more power and show expertise. If you’re in an interview, you can mention similar skills you think are relevant to the company. You can also use this chance to express enthusiasm for the topic and a willingness to learn.

“Questions that call for definitions or understanding of concepts that you don’t know can’t just be worked through on the spot. For these questions, lean on the research you’ve done about the company and industry the position is in.” – Lily Zhang, The Muse

Point to an expert

This one might not be terribly relevant in an interview setting, but if you’re at work and don’t have the knowledge you need to help with a problem, you might know someone who does! If it’s an issue of needing the knowledge more so than you being the one with that knowledge, don’t be afraid to utilize an expert you know.

Adrian J. Hopkins says this one is tough because it’s openly admitting you don’t have any answer, but it shows protectiveness and confidence that an answer can be found. This can show how resourceful you are, and being viewed as someone with a deep network is never a bad thing. Just be sure to thank your expert (and maybe apologize for putting them on the spot later).

Wrap up

Taking taking the time to pause, look at the context, and think about what you do know, you can come up with a much more helpful response than a mere, “I don’t know.” You aren’t disguising that lack of knowledge—instead, you’re finding a solution to obtain that knowledge. We all have lapses in our knowledge or can simply panic on the spot, but there’s a way to turn the situation into a positive.

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How To Find A Career Mentor

Navigating a career path is intimidating no matter what route you choose, but you don’t have to go it alone. One of the greatest champions you can find in your career journey is a mentor; not just a teacher or advisor but a trusted ally and friend.

Yet while many professionals believe a mentor is a boon, only 37% of people have them according to a 2019 survey. This study found the majority of mentor-mentee relationships formed organically, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be proactive and find one. If you’re looking to form a mutually beneficial relationship with a mentor, embrace these strategies!

Consider what you want first

Before you start your search, ask yourself what you’re looking for out of the relationship. Are you looking for someone with a specific title, someone in a desired industry, or general career advice? Reflect on the type of success you’re looking for, what your values are, and what type of feedback you respond best to.

Forbes’ Liz Elting says that if you’re not honest with yourself, you’ll end up wasting your time and your potential mentors. As a mentee, you need to be coachable and open to feedback, take the initiative to check-in, and be comfortable discussing your goals, according to LinkedIn’s Jon Jennings. So take time to do self-scouting before you start looking.

Check within your existing networking

Once you know what you’re looking for, start by looking within your existing sphere of influence. There could be someone at your company, a former professor or colleague, or a member of an alumni association that could be a good fit.

Indeed’s Jennifer Herrity says to look at the people you admire in your network and write down why. Consider who has the attributes you admire and what challenges they have faced in their career. Then, you can reach out and break the ice. Don’t be afraid to go through your LinkedIn or social media profiles to see if there is someone you haven’t considered. You may already have the ideal mentor in your network.

Take to the internet

Even if the ideal mentor isn’t someone you already know, don’t be discouraged. Social media and networking tools like LinkedIn are great places to make new connections. With more people working remotely than ever before, it’s a good time to digitally connect.

You can start by asking your existing connections if they know someone who could be a good fit for you. Even if that doesn’t work, you can try alumni groups if you went to a college or worked with a particular group. If all else fails, LinkedIn Groups are a great way to find something in your niche, according to FlexJob’s Kimberli Lowe-MacAuley. Using LinkedIn, you can search for specific groups, and LinkedIn will offer some tips to get started!

“When searching, you can begin adding topical keywords to target groups specific to your career field. Rather than type in “designers,” for instance, you can try “freelance graphic designers” to find a more targeted group. You’re sure to find a group that will suit your career goals.” – Kimberli Lowe-MacAuley

Ask

Once you find someone that seems like you good fit, you have the most nerve-wracking task ahead of you—you need to ask! You don’t need to write a note saying “will u be my mentor? y/n,” but you do need to find a way to ask that isn’t too forward or needy.

Harvard Business Review states that many ambitious career advancers will make their ask too soon—after just one or two conversations with a person. Being bold can be beneficial, but you want your request to have context and be a natural fit. You want to make sure this is going to be a good fit, and one conversation isn’t enough to know that.

Kimberli Lowe-MacAuley says that in your initial conversation, you’ll essentially be doing an elevator pitch and asking someone for their time. Explain why you admire them, what you hope to gain, and why you are worth their time. You don’t need to officially ask for the title of mentor. That relationship may just develop that way after having multiple conversations.

“You might also consider asking the other person to formally be your mentor, though this is not a necessity. While some people will be happy to take on the role of mentor, others might resist a formal title associated with increased responsibility. Use your own discretion when making this decision.” –Coursera

Wrap up

Remember: finding a mentor doesn’t mean finding the highest-ranked person you can find and copying their career path. You want to find a good fit, someone you can really connect with. You may have many different mentors at different stages of your career. In turn, make sure to be a good mentee and offer help where you can. And if you do find a good mentor, pass down that good fortune by becoming a mentor yourself in the future!

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